Create Radiance

This Mindful Recovery

2011-04-07T12:56:00.000-07:00

Springtime is the season where we are processing anger. It is a time when the body is wanting to leap up after a winter's rest, and for some of us that may come with resistance. The anger is responsible for detoxification, and the alternative mode is harboring anger, guilt, overwhelming emotions and feeling "stuck in a rut". The way out? Is through the feelings, practicing a more mindful life and living a delicate balance to achieve serenity.

In my personal struggle with my weight, as well as in the work I do with others, mindfulness is a key factor in my daily recovery. If I am not mindful, if I take my mind off of my intention to be healthy and happy, to feel better every day - then I go overboard and want to check out. This is in opposition to waking up. Mindfulness is waking up to the moment, to the resistance, to the tension. Moving through it by breathing into sensation in order to become present to what is. Mindfulness can only be practiced in the here and now, and doing so leads to a deeper and more meaningful existence. Imagine yourself making contact with the ground and then try to make contact with the ground. Does the imagining feel less severe and perhaps more effortless?

Mindfulness is a way, an embodiment, a personal resolution to embody. We all do so naturally when you allow yourself to enjoy doing what you are doing, such as riding a horse, eating a meal with friends, listening to a partner, digging in the dirt. The problem comes when we do what we do mindlessly, and forget the importance of making contact with the present moment. Each moment builds on the one before, and the practice of mindfulness invites a state of truth and love to emerge from within, rather than a state of doing, judging, and avoiding being, all which leads to a denial of the inner eco system.

Inside of the body there are the keys to our healing. I am convinced, after 12 years of battling food and weight, that the answer does not lie in the food I eat or how much I weigh. I can fight this all day long, by believing my mind when it tells me how awful I look, or when I think other people are judging me, to believe them. This, my friend, creates a negative thought loop which is not really true. In essence, it is meaningless information on the path to wholeness and to creating freedom from a food and weight obsession. After years of being a psychotic macrobiotic vegan, I wish I could say I know how to fix your body with food (b/c a part of me agrees), but if the mind does not believe the body is healthy as it is, then it will continue to use food to be fixed and break down, fixed and break down, again and again. I have tried this and it never works.

What is mindfulness and how can it help overcome eating disorders, food and weight obsessions, addictions and compulsions?

I taught myself to be mindful with food through one simple platform (and you can too!). It is, however a way, and there are many ways. This one works and I recommend having many philosophies around food that work for you.

Eat for the next segment of time. What you eat now will give you the juice to thrive for the afternoon, morning, night and not for the rest of your life. You can always eat again, even if that is in one hour or is not a specified meal or snack time. Does this sound overly simplistic? It may, however if you are or have ever struggled with binging or eating compulsively, you may understand that sometimes you eat for a few days in one sitting. This makes no sense, and there are ways to make sense of it, AND I recommend having ideas, patterns, intentions, motivational talks inside of your mind and body that keep you focused on the results you would like to achieve.
Chew well. This does not mean 100x per bite (however, I used to do this and it works!). Chew when you remember, and work to remember to chew as much as possible.
Eat as if in full view of others (thanks, Geneen Roth!!). Or eat as if you are surrounded by your most beloved friends and mentors. Would you stand up eating @ the refrigerator if a client or new friend came over? This works. It may also help you set the table - clear the space around you for a peaceful meal. Prevent you from watching tv or being on the computer while eating. And is practical advice for eating anywhere in the world. I don't want to eat in the car, do you?

More to come on mindfulness, for now, be here, not there, it's the only way to become who you really are and embody your potential.

Warmly,
Waller

Go Gluten Free!!!

2010-12-08T17:46:00.000-08:00

Day One of back off the gluten.

It was a yummy day.

Breakfast:
Vegan Butternut Squash (gluten free) Muffins

Lunch:
Spaghetti squash with almond pesto
Carrots, onions, broccoli arame sauteed
1 oz dark chocolate

Dinner:
Roasted squash, purple onion, garlic, carrots with green lentils, rosemary, salt
Brown rice mash with cilantro
Squash muffins...

I already feel better!!! I felt my heart was under a lot of stress today, and think it was the gluten moving through...

3 Phases of Business Development

2010-11-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

"An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea." Buddha

I have had dozens of ideas for businesses I have wanted to start. I recall my first in a 5th grade computer class--WAM Cafe. With my 2 best friends, Annie and Mimi (Waller was the W). I wasn't the most successful girl scout, but my intention always guided me to rise above what I was doing wrong according to conventional standards, which is key in running a business. THere is no room for perfection in business. You can set your standards high, make decisions from a place of integrity and form relationships based on showing up better in your work and life and follow through on commitments, but that which is overlooked, comes back to you with negative feedback or is just not right to begin with, must be brought to your awareness, taken responsibility for and then let go. Action is the only way to promote and maintain a sustainable business.

Here is a resource I found on the SCORE Nashville website:

The Idea Phase

In the back of your mind, you’ve had this germ of an idea about starting your own business. In the Idea Phase, you begin to seriously explore the possibility of actually doing it. You consider the “what-ifs” and bounce the idea off friends and family to gauge their support and to get their advice. In this phase, you start writing down your ideas and the advice from others. In this very first phase of planning, SCORE’S 3+ hour evening workshop, “How to Really Start a Business”, would be a good place to start. The workshop offers a wealth of handout material and the cost is nominal. Call the SCORE office in Nashville any weekday morning at 615-736-7621 for details.

The Feasibility Phase

Having explored the “what-ifs,” you are now ready to do some serious investigation as to whether you really should go into business. The Feasibility Phase is the “Can I really do this?” stage. At this point, you begin to ask and find answers to important business realities, such as:

! Where should I locate my business; what would it cost to be here or there?
! Is anyone else in the area in the same business; how can I compete successfully?
! What type of equipment/supplies do I need; how much would they cost?
! If I want to open a home-based business, do I need a license; are there any restrictions
prohibiting a home-based business in my neighborhood?
! Do I need financing? If yes, where do I start?

The Business Plan Phase

A business plan is a written document that describes your business in enough detail to focus your efforts and demonstrate to others, including your prospective investors or lenders, the serious thought and planning that have been going on in the first two phases. The business plan is the “can do!” document. A business plan is required to obtain start-up business loans.

Juice Fast, Yo!

2010-09-27T06:55:00.000-07:00

Times they are a changing. It's fall, so quickly the air is becoming breezy, much more so in the past few weeks. We were getting worried around here in Nashville that perhaps fall may not be available to us this year, since the planet has tilted so much, that maybe we just have HOT and then COLD. Regardless, we are in the in-between phase as of now and it feels rather nice.

I also have noticed a bit of a shift in my appetite. I went from not so much to all at once. Coming back into balance for me usually involves a bit of a stretch in the opposite direction. So, this day marks day one of a juice fast for moi. Day one of who knows, going for 3 days, but you will be the first to hear when I decide to make a change for some whoel foods.

Breakfast Juice:
4 carrots
3 scallions
1/2 cup cilantro
3 drops stevia
Oh, yum! Rather nice. I was not too hungry (strange for me!), because I ate pretty late last night, but this is enough to satisfy my belly for a morning of fun work on my biz!! (;

Stretch Your Money Maker

2010-08-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

I have lived at many different economic levels. I grew up in an affluent family, with a dad as a financier and a mother who knew how to manage money. My dad graduated from Harvard Business School and went on the achieve massive success. He was known as the "talking wallet" when I grew up because he literally would finance anyone who had a dream.

I have lived in Africa with the Masai, in the bush of Australia, in many cities and towns around the US and world with and without comfort. My most usual furniture has been yoga blocks and bolsters and where other people would walk into my house cringing, I never quite understood.

Until recently, when my body started to fill up and life started to expand, I never could appreciate luxury or comfort. I would have preferred--and felt like I deserved--to sleep on the floor. This makes no sense, but I understand it fully now. Just as having self esteem is an energetic alignment with what makes us stand tall, appreciate and be able to give and receive to that which brings life into the world, money too is an energy that creates or prohibits life from flowing through us. I have done just about every experiment in the book to try to prevent money from coming into my life, and I can recognize these patterns come from deep-seeded unworthiness. Perhaps I was afraid of feeling holier than thou, but that is beside the point. Illusions don't really count here. Metaphors do.

Here is what I have learned about money that are universal laws. I do not recommend trying to disprove them at home.
1--Money has to be believed in and felt before we can attract it. In other words, we must visualize having the money so we can open our energy up to receive it.
2--Money does bring happiness. Imagine yourself making twice or 3 times as much as you are now. What would you do with the money? Some things that money allows us to do: see the world, learn, pay off debt, live in a home of our choosing or creation, eat well, support causes which are dear to our hearts, make the world a better place.
3--Money opens our minds. If you had 10x as much money as you do now, what would you do with it? For some people, working an 8 hour daily job works for what they need. If this is the case for you, and you were bought 2 years off work, what would you do? More than likely, not sit around. You may go and try new things, travel to a foreign country, learn something new.
4--Money MUST be appreciated to stay with you. I have put myself through hell living in shabby places, and then moved, gone on vacation or gone to stay with a friend or family member who lives in luxury. I notice the impact of feeling grateful for having space and freedom has on my ability to believe in my power to attract the money necessary to create the kind of life that inspires me to live. Taking money for granted will never ever serve you. There is no such thing as a free lunch!
5--Money is an inside job. There are so many conversations we have about money internally. You may see a fancy car and think money. You may see something that turns you on and think never, but what would a healthier relationship be to something you want? Here are some examples:
Wouldn't it be nice if....
How much would I need to make to buy a new dress?
What do I really want out of life?

I have created some structures in my coaching practice to help clients achieve massive success and stretch their money maker. It takes a lot of energy to change, but once you learn certain principles about how we are all able to make the money we need to support the lifestyle we want, you can move ahead calm and carry on to create wealth in all areas of your life.

Go Vegan!

2010-08-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

Ooooh. Join me as I get back on the road again to radiant health. The past 14 months have been horrible on my health. Filled with sugarplum fairies in the middle of the night, frittatas, overload of mayonnaise and breaded buttery oomph, this trial period has been one we would like to put on the shelf and can as ashes to never be given away to anyone and be spread only across the narliest of landfills.

This was one woman's account of journeying away from macrobiotics and the psychro-myoptic lifestyle that lethal control over the amount of sea vegetables consumed does to one's bite sized belly, and the after math of discovering a playground beyond that which she knows works to balance the brain chemistry of a nearly manic princess with a sleep disorder called n.e.s (do not worry, you don't have it!). So, please, wonder not what those letters stand for and read on, my friend, only if you would like to hear how not to eat, pleeeeease!

I promise I will leave a gift at the end of the story. The story will be the present, but if you make it through, you might find there is a lovely lady waiting by the rainbow's edge to dish out delicious delights of vegan chocolate, entrees, side dishes and the best part ever, never having to eat animal food or gluten again!

Woosh. This has been a long struggle, but I thank God for reminding me today that I don't have to play with my food or let my food play with my mind like this ever again. It sucks feeling trapped in the cycle of messed up and mess myself up even more, though now that I am informed as to what causes the bubble around my heart, I can start to unravel the knot and thank you, CREATE RADIANCE IN THE KITCHEN!

So sad to say that you will have to wait until tomorrow to receive your first gift. It is a wonderful, magnificent, invitation to come to heaven with me. It's just down the street, over night, into the land of the Vegan goddesses. I might bring some of them on here to share their stories of bright and meaningful recovery of their radiant goddess energy.

Sing me a song or read me a line of your favorite haiku, I would love to hear it from you!
Email me@ waller@createradiance.com

Once more, a vegan and committed to you that's what I'm saying, I never thought it would be so necessary to declare it, but my name is Waller and when I give you the gift of a new life tomorrow, I will officially be...a VEGAN!

Love, Peace, and Vegan Chocolate,
Waller

Might I add a side note? Just thinking,m after eating a bowl of brown rice and olive oil and feeling my heart beat again, about the distinction between whole, mother earth-loaded kind veggies versus packaged, wheat/corn syrup, cheesy/ crunchy pockets of air and gas and what option 1 creates in the body versus option 2. Let's start with option 2. For me? Easy answer. No sex drive (fairmones literally float away and men stay far away), flabby belly, gas and it's nemesis the d-word, disgusting sleep habits and well, we'll save the best for last, a couch sentence when I am in the final stretch of my 20's and finding a partner to get through with me to the hill is a priority of my heart, but obviously, when I am eating gas pockets, the counter parts to my not-so recent reverse vegan goddess exploration does everything but draw the gods to me: it makes me look pregnant so they stay far, far away.
Option 1: hmm. flat belly, gentle digestion, super efficient, brainiac, goddessly powerful, on and naturally and authentically KIND.

Thanks for listening!

Going Back Gluten and Dairy Free

2010-08-01T14:39:00.000-07:00

Why? Why am I charting my course to wellness? First I will start by saying what I am dealing with that is directly connected with my diet.

For the past year, I have added in dairy, gluten, sugar and many fatty foods in large doses. Before, I was thin and felt awesome. I had great energy to move around, slept like a little baby and looked gorgeous. A part of me became interested in maintaining my inner world while eating whatever whenever. This did not work. Well, it kept me alive. I could be a 2 year old and still survive, but I was miserable. I was not fully being responsible for my life. I paid bills late, my car was disgusting and I started to feel awful about myself.

So I ended up in this place of confusion and turmoil. In order to save my sanity, I had to allow myself to be there. I convinced myself I was ok even though I felt worse than ever inside.

I am tying these symptoms to my diet because my diet changed drastically to accomodate my feeling so bad about myself. The items I added in include: gluten, dairy and sugar. The attitude I added in is: unworthiness and chaos. The behavior is eating as much as I want anytime, which for the most part meant the middle of the night.

I progressively have felt worse every day in the past year and a couple months. I believe recovery is possible, so I would like to share with you what I know works.

My current symptoms:

BLOATED belly

Plantar warts on hands

gassy

diarrhea

mental fog

confusion

depression

cravings

I hear that these are awful, but sometimes I do not recall them when it comes time to eat. What is it going to take to get over this? A lot of self love.

So I am writing a book about my recovery and will share parts of it with you here...

Thanks for listening!

xox

Waller

Hormone Replacement Therapy

2010-08-01T06:35:00.001-07:00

So my doctor has put me on hormones. 29 years old and stressed to the max, he thinks my hormones are a bit imbalanced. I would like to agree. And I agree fully that we are made up of energy regulating hormones which is constantly shifting. Stress mode can cause these hormones to come with us and start to tear our body down where they are supposed to work with us to feed and nourish our bones and body for radiant well being.

Progesterone is known as the happy hormone. It is the feel good hormone which comes through to calm a woman down prior to her cycle. I am on day 2 of taking it and feel calm, yet my sleep is still hurting. I will check back in with more later!

Gluten Free, Please!!!

2010-07-02T22:01:00.003-07:00

A couple of years ago I was going through a very intense health crisis. My weight had been well below normal for many years, I had no sign of a menstrual cycle in 6.5 years and I was about to go insane because I was so hungry all of the time and my body seemed to be eating itself. Not sure where the food was going!

I ran into an ex-boyfriend who, when we were together, we were digestively distressed. Not sure who was more so, but I was fully bulimic at the time, so much so that I did not notice his issues, and he did not see mine. Together, we were a perfect pair. He had moved around a bit like I, until he was in Washington becoming a politician, but his tummy would not have it. He tested positive for celiac, made the decision to give up gluten and BAM! Weight came on and wellness followed. He was my personal hero for committing to a healthy lifestyle. His reason was to never have to struggle as he did when he ate gluten, but I would say super courageous for being a macho man and sticking with a gluten free diet--which can be known as a hippy or health nut thing to do.

My symptoms looked a lot like his. I decided to follow him in the gluten free initiative and was amazed at how many of my symptoms cleared up. The most notable was my blood sugar balancing, weight stabilizing, period came back within a matter of months and anxiety decreased drastically. I never found out for sure if I was celiac, but the blood tests showed obvious signs of gluten intolerance (IgG panel very low). I gave up gluten and felt clear and not hungry all of the time. I promise my depression went from a 9.5 to a 2.

Recently, I moved in with roommates. They eat as normal as a 16 year old. There is plenty of bread and crackers and dumplings and casseroles around the house. There is also no excuse for me indulging in their food, but I have been. It has not been fun or pretty. My symptoms have come back, in a rare form this time.

*itching like I am constantly being attacked by fire ants (it's not fun!!!)
*blood sugar out of whack is causing my SEVERE anxiety
*fogginess, takes me 12 times the effort to do homework and pay bills

I am getting back on the gluten free wagon. I will write more about my "de-sludging" symptoms. Mostly, about how grateful I am for having recognized what I need. Commitment is a word that needs clear definition in my life. I can force myself to do something for a while, then give up only to realize I was trying and not committed. This is going to take a serious deep commitment, almost as if I am married to my gluten free lifestyle.

Some things that helped me in the past were to:
*Make delicious gluten free food
*Read, read, read other people's stories and successes of gluten free living
*Connect with other Gluten Free people
*Comment on Gluten Free blogsites
*Find Gluten free recipe sites

Questions/comments/issues about this post? Make a comment! I'd love to hear our experience of being on or off gluten, or if this brings up something you may recognize in your own life.

Take good care.

Warmly,
Waller

Gluten Free, Please!!!

2010-07-02T22:01:00.001-07:00

A couple of years ago I was going through a very intense health crisis. My weight had been well below normal for many years, I had no sign of a menstrual cycle in 6.5 years and I was about to go insane because I was so hungry all of the time and my body seemed to be eating itself. Not sure where the food was going!

I ran into an ex-boyfriend who, when we were together, we were digestively distressed. Not sure who was more so, but I was fully bulimic at the time, so much so that I did not notice his issues, and he did not see mine. Together, we were a perfect pair. He had moved around a bit like I, until he was in Washington becoming a politician, but his tummy would not have it. He tested positive for celiac, made the decision to give up gluten and BAM! Weight came on and wellness followed. He was my personal hero for committing to a healthy lifestyle. His reason was to never have to struggle as he did when he ate gluten, but I would say super courageous for being a macho man and sticking with a gluten free diet--which can be known as a hippy or health nut thing to do.

My symptoms looked a lot like his. I decided to follow him in the gluten free initiative and was amazed at how many of my symptoms cleared up. The most notable was my blood sugar balancing, weight stabilizing, period came back within a matter of months and anxiety decreased drastically. I never found out for sure if I was celiac, but the blood tests showed obvious signs of gluten intolerance (IgG panel very low). I gave up gluten and felt clear and not hungry all of the time. I promise my depression went from a 9.5 to a 2.

Recently, I moved in with roommates. They eat as normal as a 16 year old. There is plenty of bread and crackers and dumplings and casseroles around the house. There is also no excuse for me indulging in their food, but I have been. It has not been fun or pretty. My symptoms have come back, in a rare form this time.

*itching like I am constantly being attacked by fire ants (it's not fun!!!)
*sleeping with food--eating @ night when i cannot sleep
*blood sugar out of whack is causing my SEVERE anxiety
*fogginess, takes me 12 times the effort to do homework and pay bills

I am getting back on the gluten free wagon. I will write more about my "de-sludging" symptoms. Mostly, about how grateful I am for having recognized what I need. Commitment is a word that needs clear definition in my life. I can force myself to do something for a while, then give up only to realize I was trying and not committed. This is going to take a serious deep commitment, almost as if I am married to my gluten free lifestyle.

Some things that helped me in the past were to:
*Make delicious gluten free food
*Read, read, read other people's stories and successes of gluten free living
*Connect with other Gluten Free people
*Comment on Gluten Free blogsites
*Find Gluten free recipe sites

Questions/comments/issues about this post? Make a comment! I'd love to hear our experience of being on or off gluten, or if this brings up something you may recognize in your own life.

Take good care.

Warmly,
Waller

Blessing of Self

2010-04-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

Saint Francis and the Sow

by Galway Kinnell

The bud

stands for all things,

even for those things that don’t flower,

for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;

though sometimes it is necessary

to reteach a thing its loveliness,

to put a hand on its brow

of the flower

and retell it in words and in touch

it is lovely

until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;

as Saint Francis

put his hand on the creased forehead

of the sow, and told her in words and in touch

blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow

began remembering all down her thick length,

from the earthen snout all the way

through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail,

from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine

down through the great broken heart

to the sheer blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering

from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath them:

the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

This is one of my favorite poems. Years ago, I was at a young person's silent meditation retreat at Spirit Rock in Northern California and the teacher shared this poem with us. We were able to converse the first evening over dinner before going into silence. I remember making heart-centered connections with some new friends. Especially the men, I recall feeling comfortable and seen by everyone at dinner that night. And then we went into 10 days of silence. I was sort of comfortable in that I live a lot of my life in silence, yet frighteningly not so in that I wanted to know the people I made eye contact with on that first night. I developed what could be called: a lust for the feet of others that week. I was certainly ok in my aloneness, but felt a sense of urgency to connect with the others who were going within.

I feel so in life that it is vital we are connecting from that place of a quiet mind. I am extremely grateful for the heart-centered relationships in my life. I went to a play last night with my Dad about Mark Twain as a rockstar. (dressed as Elvis--it was a musical highlighting his rebellion and the impact his teachings had on the time and century). Afterwards, I was sharing with my dad about a book I am writing, and specifically about a chapter called the Secret Garden, inspiring readers to get in the kitchen cooking by setting up the kitchen as if it were your secret garden. This quote starts out the chapter:
“I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses. All of us. Didn't your father ever tell you that? Didn't he?” — Frances Hodgson Burnett

The chapter goes into how we all need to feel loved, to feel special. Sometimes we cannot give it all to ourselves if we are not allowing ourselves to receive from the outside world.
What are you doing today to give of yourself? What are you doing to recieve? Do your relationships support a balanced way of being? If not, if you feel like you are constantly offering kindness and not being heard or held by those you love, perhaps it is time to sit back and allow yourself to recieve the gifts from the Divine. Rest in your heart center and listen to what is really important to you. Feel from the place and listen to what is being told through you. This life is a story you are creating, a dream that is being lived through you. We can surrender the struggle and open ourselves up to living a balanced, blessed life, as if in full view of others and certainly with friends who adore us. Allow yourself to be adored. Allow yourself to give to that which you adore. And become that which you know yourself to be. Loving and kind, generous and forgiving, with an authentic smile as if to say: I am home and all is well.

Much love,
Waller

The Struggle is the Blessing

2010-04-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

Today I heard streaming through my mind: Every time I try to be that which I am not, I get hurt. Sometimes I notice myself being more than I am just so I can think I am somebody who really is nobody. When my actions leave an echo, I always know that what I just did was not from my authentic self.

This perhaps is a calling to get quiet. I notice my mind is mad lately since I have been working on a book and my mind feels slightly full and overwhelmed especially today. Where has my meditation practice gone? It seems like it has been replaced with eating as much fruit as one should be allowed in a week to see if I can gather some information beyond my normal comfort zone. This should not take a few extra apples or bananas in a day. I think I’d rather get back to meditating. There is less of a stretch in the abdomen, well there is with breath, but not so much, you know what I mean!

Also, I miss the flow that meditation provides. I have found lately a bit of stagnation in some of my relationships. Especially my primary ones, and it breaks my heart to know that I am indeed causing a less than harmonious vibe between us. But, at the same time, if only the whole world came together only after we had been on the cushion, with an open mind and heart for at least 20 minutes a day! Imagine a world with no wars in the family or beyond, where it was always ok to be where you are and people weren’t fighting to be somebody or somewhere else!

Are you struggling right now with an issue? A good way to be present and go within to find what you need to shift is to get quiet, relax all the muscles within, starting at the feet and moving upwards, and then ask yourself:

How am I contributing to this problem?
What do I need to know right now that can ease my mind?
What do I need to change?

Be very quiet. Listen for the answer. Your body will share with you exactly what needs to shift.
Take this process with you and practice when the road gets blocked or your vision becomes blurry. Hopefully it is not now, but know that there is always a solution to what seems like a problem. What if it were just an invitation to go inwards, be very quiet and get to know your authentic self.

Much love,
Waller

Metamorphizing

2010-04-19T12:06:00.000-07:00

Change is on the horizon. Change is not comfortable, nor is life ever stagnant. Perhaps we could like it to be, when we are presented with a moment of wonder, a meal spent with a friend in which we wish we could stick in a bottle and savour it forever, or a really good story in a good book that leaves us lost in the moment. All of these opportunities become memories which ultimately make up our experience. All the rest, the in between zones, when we are not exactly where we want to be, and uncomfortable enough to recognize that we are so much more than who we think we are, make up who we become.

We are in an exciting time in which people are letting go left and right and leaping fearlessly into the unknown. Some are honoring a calling and soaring in a direction that makes no sense, but that stretches the limits of a past paradigm. Many are feeling the need to come together and some as always are going further away from who they ever wanted to be, yet with a knowing they still have it in them. Soon, we will all know that we have it in us to believe, and that the rest is just history.

What is under your skin that reminds you of the gift you are to the planet at this time? Who you are is not necessarily who you are meant to be. What you do is relevant in that we become that which we give ourselves to, so offering our hearts up to a cause that is greater than ourselves will benefit us and our community and ultimately planet in the long run of this thing called life.

I have recently moved to a new place and decided to make myself a home. At the same time, a good friend reminded me that the home of the spirit is within. I agree fully, and so in creating my home, I am doing so in honor of my spirit surrendering to the fact that everything is temporary and we need not fear change. Change is great in moderation, but truly allowing ourselves to be in the journey is the real juice. Sometimes we need to explore being so far out of our comfort zone in order to surrender to being still and accepting of what is. How are you doing in the process of change? Are you loving what is, understanding it is only temporary? Are you simplifying your life in order that you let yourself live freely and change gracefully?

Much of my personal inspiration comes from having moved at least 28 times in the last 10 years. I am not kidding! I have travelled around the world, bounced back and forth from the east to the west coast, north and south looking for the perfect place to be. I have meditated on mountain tops, practiced yoga on secluded beaches, scuba dove in wild seas, chased by a herd of elephants, climbed the highest mountains in Kenya and Australia, and wind surfed in Somalia. All of this was fun, but the real fun started to happen when it started to become necessary to practice being present, noticing my feelings and be fully in the here and now. I surrendered to not needing to go out there to live a large life. That in here, by taking extremely good care of ourselves and smile because today is the best day ever, that we am blessed beyond belief.

I hope you are enjoying the best day ever!
Much Love,
Waller

Recover Your Radiance

2010-03-25T14:05:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to be working on a new ebook called Recover Your Radiance: Transform Your Story to Reform the World. Recover Your Radiance is a guidebook along the road of transition where there are no mistakes, but learning curves which offer an invitation to grow beyond our comfort zone by embracing change and moving forward into possibility. My experience of recovering from anorexia, bulimia and severe depression and anxiety which nearly took my life taught me many things about the process of transformation. After years of witnessing myself caught in a story of my own creation, I committed myself to breaking apart the lies I told myself which kept me sick.

Recover Your Radiance will guide you through a proven and workable method of uncovering resistance, discovering your authentic self and recovering your birthright: wealth, happiness and radiant well being.

The book offers processes to balance the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of life which work together to create our authenticity. Socrates said: "The unexamined life is not worth living." And who are you to think that you are less than your potential?

We all walk around with voices inside that hold us back, that try to tear us down, or that build us up to the point of keeping us separate and unaware of the truth of our existence. Hanging out in the place of knowing blocks us from learning, yet not knowing can keep us from taking action that aligns with our values. Recover Your Radiance tears apart what you may not even notice is keeping you stuck by acknowledging the brokenness, the sick and dark parts of ourselves which keep us in hiding until we are forced to let them go.
1. Let Go
2. Define the Breakdown
3. Envision Your Gift
4. Clarify Your Vision
5. Explore the Newness of Life
6. Recover Your Radiance

Within these steps, the book breaks down the parts of ourselves that need to shed in order to open to recieve guidance and connection to our authentic self. Our bodies are constantly seeking expression, our voices need to be heard and our unique and individual process is necessary in the evolution of the greatest good for all. The world is waiting for you to awaken to your radiance. Stay tuned for more ways to wake up to your ability to create radiance.

Meditation for Recovering Your Radiance:
If you notice yourself believing something that you know is not really true, such as:
I am not good enough. I should be more, better. I need help. I cannot take care of myself. I am broken. (any or all of which may lead to a dark place)
Come to sitting comfortably. See the belief and the part of you that gets triggered by the belief. Perhaps it leads you to act in a way that is less than nourishing to your body. Perhaps you make choices that are not in alignment with your values and leave an echo of unworthiness.
Visualize this part of you and invite it to come sitting in front of you. See the negative parts of you and notice how it feels/looks/acts and how you react to it's presence. Ask it to tell you the story of it's pain. Listen with open ears and an open mind. Don't judge, but become fascinated with everything it has to say. As you do so, allow yourself to grow further and further away from this part of you. Acknowledge it's presence by saying: That's interesting, and then what? Let it talk back to you. You may notice an endless story of overwhelming pain and struggle. You may notice that by giving it breathing room, you are cutting off your own source of wellbeing.

There is a never ending story of our own creation that is trying to kill us. There is a choice, to listen to the voices within that tell us who we think we are, or to step out in faith by accessing our authentic self and come together offering value from our heart to the hearts of others. Your life is meant to be a blessing, and there is a calling deep within each of us that is constantly reminding us of who we can be. Let go of the rest, the smoke in the mirror, the stuff that gets caught when you make a mistake, or when you cannot decide who you want to be. And do your best. We cannot think ourselves into right acting, but we can act ourselves into right thinking and the mind is a powerful place to start envisioning ourselves opening up to become powerful creators of radiance inside and out.

You are How, What, When, Where and Why You Eat

2010-03-23T11:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Geneen Roth and her new book, Women, Food and God, and specifically her latest Huffington Post article for the inspiration in discovering how our relationship with food is a metaphor for our relationship with life.

Geneen mentions briefly that she had to give up sneaking, stuffing, standing up, in the car eating in order to discover life. Her mission in life is to help women give up dieting and learn to be gentle and loving with themselves. The two are completely interconnected, and if you need clarification, I recommend reading any of her bestselling books, including, When Food is Love, and When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair.

I can completely relate to her process, and have made many commitments to give up careless, mindless eating, yet have not overcome the root of my behaviors. I can focus on giving them up, but then daily am tossing and turning to avoid the guilt and shame that has accumulated along with the pounds of excess bananas and nuts that I have become of late. Do you see how your food behaviors become how you think of yourself? This can be a conversation that is not at the forefront of your mind, at least one that you would not share with a date or even a roommate, but it is there when you get quiet and it is not the voice of faith, nor does it make life in the least bit enjoyable. It is nice to enjoy a good meal. It is especially nice to enjoy a meal with friends. Nobody wants to have to eat alone, and especially do so in bed, in the middle of the night standing up in front of the refrigerator, or feel like hiding because they exist as a human being. When we have spent much of our lives looking to fill the hole inside of us with food, the wholeness of who we are becomes dependent on the size of this hole, and for that reason, most of us feel frighteningly empty the larger we become. This cycle is frighteningly limiting and excruciating if we are not questioning the feedback from this emptiness. How true is it really that because our thighs are larger than our wrists, we need to suffer today?

Making sense of our eating patterns is completely necessary to move us forward into life. Especially now when many people are struggling to find work, and discovering that stress can be a full time job, and therapists can be our bosses. What if you were to give up the shame and guilt around food altogether? Would there be a reason to live beyond food if you started now to create a life you love and to fall in love with the life you are living?

Question yourself starting with your eating habits.

How do I want to feel for the next segment of time?
What would I eat that could help me feel that way?
When shall I eat to keep my mind and body in balance?
Where shall I eat and with whom?
Am I truly hungry, and if not, what else would feed me now?

Stuckness to Inspirationally Attuned

2010-03-20T21:13:00.001-07:00

I am no stranger to overwhelm. Self-sabatoge could be my middle name. I notice a trend when it comes to having what I want and never have enough. There is always more, but lack can be confused for contentment in the here and now.

There are many ways to acknowledge our sense of stuckness. We can stuff it, avoid it, disregard it, fluff it, scrunch it, untie it, crumble it, spit it out on our friends, swallow it whole without chewing, or, of course the best and most favorite of all, just plain deny it without dressing or sauce. And the final solution works the best, since it does not leave us wanting what we don't already have. The former ones offer an echo that may be louder than you know how to manage, and that is a key impact of the overwhelming quality to being out of alignment with our secret sauce.

Truth #1: There are boxes that we do not fit inside, no matter how hard we try. I have tried and tried, and end up seeing myself as I look out the window, and am amazed that there is no mirror in sight! If you find yourself checking yourself out, you may be a victim of your own sauce, and allergic to what you are creating. You know you are living large if you just allow yourself to be, and don't have to find what's wrong with you before you meet the rest of the world!

Truth #2: There is such a thing as a leaky faucet. The faucet you are running might be leaking out sideways. Do you notice yourself telling a story that already happened? Or, are you speaking in possibility. How you know when you need a plumber, or to consider hiring a therapist who is not your friend: you talk about how good or bad it was as if one day, at band camp...

Truth #3: You are your best friend. We are not in 5th grade anymore. We can look around and try to depend on others, fall in love with our favorite blogger and develop an e-crush with would-be clients, and this is fun and all, but, there is no time to befriend yourself if you are sharing it all with others. PLus, the people may be so used to you helping them, that you and they both deny that you need anyone ever, and you are the last to remember that you are worth it!

Truth #4: You didn't deserve it and there is a solution. There is a spiritual solution to every problem, thanks to Wayne Dyer. Seriously. If you are masochistic in some regard with yourself, your work or your man, you really don't have to go there any longer. You can be here now, and keep listening to that precious seed inside of your heart that needs to be nourished with good thoughts, loving blessings, and feelings of juiciness and inspiration.

Truth #5: You rock. This is fundamental marketing info to stick in your pocket. If you are feeling sorry for yourself, you will not get over your feeling of overwhelm. The thoughts will lead you right back to square one. The behaviors will lead to the thoughts which will lead you to the feelings which cause you to shut down. Keep the faith and find reasons to love yourself up. This will impact your self concept extremely well.

Spiritual Activism

2010-03-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

"Spiritual Activism refers to actions consciously taken in response to the knowledge that one is responsible for one's own actions, reactions, behaviors, thoughts and decisions. Once one has become aware of the implications of one's choices, one becomes obligated to assess each choice in regard to its impact on the Whole. As a Spiritual Activist, I not only attempt to change my personal life in order to benefit our world; I also work toward sharing with others ways to improve their own lives and to reach out in service. In working toward manifesting our ideal vision, we bring ourselves that much closer to the Divine.
"As Above, So Below." Namaste."

Taken from: http://www.resourcesforspiritualactivism.com/

Each of us is called to be greater than we think we are in order to evolve beyond our limitations. This calling is there waiting for us when we are ready to access the love inside of our hearts. Within this love, there is a still, quiet voice that is constantly seeking expression. Knowing this voice takes courage enough to be still and get to know ourselves apart from ego. Dwelling elsewhere and apart from the heart leads to cutting our own light off from Source and living a lie. It is not true that we are what we think we are. Our thoughts have stories that don't always lead to the place of peace within and all around us. As a spiritual being, our responsibility is to see beyond what appears and to honor the voice of the activist within.

A spiritual activist resides within each and everyone of us. In order live authentically in alignment with our values, it takes a stepping away from the pressures of life, fulfilling our personal needs with Divine guidance, and following the love in our hearts. As we take care of ourselves, we show up for life from a more loving place and create space for others to reside in the place of love where there are no boundaries, but energetically everyone is safe.

It is not spiritual to make yourself available to others because you don't want to be alone or can't take care of yourself so you want to take care of others. This is co-dependency at it's best, an unwillingness to be honest with ourselves, which leads us further away from Source energy.

Are you struggling to take responsiblity in some area of your life? Consider dedicated your healing or recovery for the benefit of all beings. Or for the children of the planet. Or for the children in your life. Allow the children to teach you how to take care of yourself based on how you would be if you wanted to teach them how to live. Bless the situation, or block it out of your mind. A mind placed in the realm of the Divine is aware and awake enough to listen to what you need to heal. Life is a healing journey, and we are constantly going through a process of shedding to open to greater love. Our work is to share from the place of love and to connect with one another as if each visitor is a manifestation of the Divine. As you clear your energy, let go of the story of your struggle, you become free and initiate your role as a spiritual activist.

What is the message of your activism? What do you see the world needs? Your family? Your friends? What have you overcome that you would like to inspire in others?

Tongue Scraping

2010-02-09T16:37:00.000-08:00

Tongue Scraping is performed with a metal device you can purchase at the health food store or a spoon. Stainless steel works better than the plastic type you can by at the drug store and is more safe and cleaner. Imagine, you are taking the toxins, mucous, junk form your mouth and letting it go. This is a fabulous way to detox your mouth first thing in the morning, to clean the bacteria and your palate for a healthier day. I have practiced tongue scraping for years. It helps relieve bad breath as well as helps improve digestion. I can't say enough about it. Try this at home!

Oil Pulling

2010-02-09T16:14:00.000-08:00

Oil Pulling is a deeply penetrating method of detoxification. According to www.oilpulling.com, Dr. (med.) Karach said the Oil pulling heals totally “head-aches, bronchitis, tooth pain, thrombosis, eczema, ulcers and diseases of stomach, intestines, heart, blood, kidney, liver, lungs and women’s diseases. It heals diseases of nerves, paralysis, and encephalitis. It prevents the growth of malignant tumors, cuts and heals them. Chronic sleeplessness is cured."

Oil Pulling is an Ayurvedic Process that works on the root cause of disease in the body. Results will come in a matter of days, with a brightness in the complexion and eyes, shiny hair and improved digestion. Full healing is a process and takes quite a while, according to your readiness and willingness to let go.

Here is how you do it:

On an empty stomach, take one tablespoon of sesame oil into the mouth, but do not swallow it. Swish the oil around in the mouth for 15-20 minutes. This process will activate enzymes and draw out toxins. Do not swallow the oil since it has contains toxins from the blood.

Oil Pulling increases metabolism, which improves overall health. You will notice a glow and your teeth will become whiter. You may experience signs of detoxification, including digestive disturbances, sleeping patterns changes, moodiness, but be patient, it is worth the release!

Maya Self Massage

2010-02-09T16:11:00.000-08:00

Maya Abdominal Massage Self Care Techniques
The Arvigo Techniques of Maya Abdominal Massage ™ are centered around the ancient Mayan techniques, which reposition organs that have dropped and restricted the flow of blood, lymph, nerve & chi energy. As with any other natural healing, Arvigo Techniques seek to restore the body to its natural balance. This technique is provided for therapeutic self care only and is intended to be used in conjunction with treatments from a professional or certified Maya Abdominal Massage practitioner. Consult www.arvigomassage.com for a list of qualified practitioners.
To Prepare
• Empty your bladder and create a quiet, peaceful environment to relax for 5-10 minutes (just before bedtime is perfect!).
• Wear loose fitting clothing with no zippers or buttons over the abdomen.
• Lie on your back and place a pillow under your head and your knees to soften your abdominal muscles. (If you have uterine prolapse, it may also be helpful to place a pillow under your hips to elevate your pelvis.)
• Breathe deeply and slowly for a few moments until you feel relaxed.
Self Care Massage Techniques
Lower Abdominal
1. Bring both of your hands together with your index fingers side by side and tuck one thumb under the other. Bring all eight fingers close together, slightly bent and relaxed. See diagram. 2. Through your clothing or a sheet, or with oiled fingers, locate where your pubic bones meet in the middle with your index fingers, and place these fingers on the small indent. Inhale and as you exhale, slowly slide off the top of your pubic bones while keeping your fingernails in contact with the bones. Press as deeply as it is comfortable for you into the soft tissue space above your pubic bone. See Diagram. (If your uterus is too low, you will feel resistance like the consistency of a water balloon.) 3. While maintaining the same pressure, gently and slowly move your fingertips toward your navel. Repeat this stroke from your pubic bone to your navel a total of 3 times. 4. With the same hand position, move your fingertips to one side of your pelvis with the little finger of one hand on the pubic bone and the other little finger on your hip bone. Again bring all eight fingers close together, slightly bent and relaxed. Inhale and as you exhale, slowly slide off the bones and press as deeply as it is comfortable for you into the soft tissue space of the pelvic bowl. 5. While maintaining the same pressure, gently and slowly move your fingertips toward the midline. Repeat this stroke a total of 3 times. 6. Repeat #4 and #5 on the other side of the pelvis. If your uterus is tilted to the left or right, you will feel resistance like the consistency of a water balloon before you get to the midline. 7. Repeat #2 through #6 2 more times, and then repeat #2 and #3 a final time for a total of 30 strokes. 8. Open your hands, reaching as far as possible without lifting your head, and place them flat over the groin where your legs join your pelvis on each side. Stroke softly 4-5 times over your skin and the underlying inguinal lymph nodes toward your abdomen. Continue the same strokes down both inner thighs along the lymph nodes, repeating this stroke 5 times.
Upper Abdominal
1. Apply oil or lotion to your fingertips. Make an “M” (for Maya!) with your hands by facing the palms of your hands toward each other and curling your fingers so that the fingernails of all eight fingers touch. Place your fingertips on the center of your upper abdomen just below the ribcage. Inhale, and as you exhale, press as deeply as it is comfortable for you into the soft tissue space. While maintaining the same pressure, gently and slowly move your fingertips toward your navel. Repeat this stroke from your rib cage to your navel a total of 3 times. 2. Place your fingertips on one side of your upper abdomen just below the ribcage. Inhale and as you exhale, press as deeply as it is comfortable for you into the soft tissue space. While maintaining the same pressure, gently and slowly move your fingertips diagonally toward your navel. Repeat this stroke from your rib cage to your navel for a total of 3 times. 3. Repeat # 2 on the other side of the upper abdomen. Then repeat #1, #2, and #3, ending with #1 for a total of 30 strokes.
If you find areas of tenderness, pain or congestion, adapt your pressure so that you can continue to relax. Breathe and continue to massage the area. If pain persists, even with a light touch, stop for now. If you experience pain initially, it should gradually diminish with each self care massage. Simply follow these instructions as best you can. After practicing the self care day for several days, you will become more familiar with the massage and more confident in your touch. If you continue to have difficulty, contact your Maya Abdominal Massage practitioner.
After Self Care
• Drink plenty of water to hydrate your body and support the healing process. Thank yourself for taking the time to take care of yourself.
• Honor your experience by paying attention to the changes and responding with what you need. For example, write your feelings in your journal or diary or share them with a trusted friend or therapist.
• Repeat the self care massage everyday except 5 days prior to and during your period or for 30 days, and then reduce to 2-3 times a week for your health.

When To Modify or Avoid Self Care Massage
• 5 days prior to and during your menstrual bleeding, do not deeply massage the uterus, but you may continue doing # 8 over the lymph nodes and the upper abdominal massage. It is okay to very gently and superficially massage over the uterine area prior to and during your period.
• During pregnancy, self care massage can be appropriately adapted for your trimester of pregnancy. Consult your Maya Abdominal Massage practitioner for more information.
• After abdominal surgery, you must wait until the tissue has healed, and your physician has cleared you for normal activity. For example, with Cesarean birth and hysterectomy, 8-10 weeks after surgery is usually recommended.
• If you are taking pain medications or other substances that may mask discomfort and pain, self care massage is contraindicated.
• If you have an intra uterine device (IUD) for birth control, #1-6 are contraindicated.
• If you are under treatment for abdominal or pelvic infection or cancer, self care massage is contraindicated.
• If you experience intense emotional pain during the self care, it is important that you seek professional support to help you pass through the gates of emotional healing. Please consult your Maya Abdominal Massage practitioner for guidance and referral.
• If you experience intense pain or discomfort during the self care massage or have a sudden onset of abdominal pain, please consult your Maya Abdominal Massage practitioner who will recommend that you see your physician before continuing the self care massage.

21 Day SUGAR FREE CHALLENGE

2010-01-23T09:08:00.001-08:00

Can you do it? Can you go without sugar? Can you live without cake or cookies or the sweetness of a Hershey bar? Join me as we walk together in the land of sugar-less delight, all the while exploring the sweet side of life.

Feel free to start this whenever you like, and post here through a comment if you are up for the challenge. Recently, feeling low energy and a bit foggy is causing me to re-assess my diet more than ever. I have some intentions for the next 21 days that I am putting out there, and I challenge you to do the same.

What is weighing on you? Does food live at the back of our mind? Are you constantly craving ot be bad...with food? How about having an amazing life and lightness in your body beyond food?

Here are some intentions I have for the next 21 days, and I will post my meals and the results of my shift here on this blog.

For the next 21 days, I am:
*going sugar free
*not eating between 8pm and 7 am
*keeping blood sugar stable throughout the day

Do you have dietary intentions you would like support around? Email me your questions or intentions and I will provide you with feedback and support for your 21 day health journey.

Namaste,
Waller

Eat This, Not That!

2010-01-22T09:41:00.000-08:00

If you have ever struggled with your weight, with digestion, depression, anxiety, cancer, ADD, diabetes, sleep disturbances, PMS, chronic fatigue, you may be well aware of the impact that your diet has on your condition. Awareness might fuel the decisions you make, but our culture is not designed to support a healing process, as our body requires for regeneration and detoxification.

Here are some basic guidelines that you can use to help you to heal, let go, and restore optimal balance from the inside out.

1. Chew Well
Avoid drinking your food whole. Make sure to chew your liquid and drink your food, to optimize digestive juices and help you to slow down in your life.

2. Healthy Fats
Replace margarine, vegetable oil, butter with Olive Oil, Ghee, Flax and Borage Oils and Avocado.

3. Cactus Sugar
Relieve your liver of the sugar invasion and allow your lymph system to let go on a deeper level. I recommend Agave Nectar which has a low glycemic index and is gentle, yet detoxifying for the colon.

4. Snack
Rather than reaching for coffee, which is taxing to the adrenals and exacerbates the colon, calm your mind and soothe your intestines with some protein or a green drink mid-morning or afternoon. Your system will experience a lift, and your mood will be increasingly positive as you keep your blood sugar balanced.

5. Breathe.
Before and after you eat, take time to center yourself, let go of toxic emotions and come into the body. Relaxing around food and mealtime will open your digestive system up to receiving the food.

Keep coming back to read more ways to relax your way to radiant health.
Namaste,
Waller

Sugar Shocked!

2010-01-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

Well, 5 years or so off of sugar will make one happy to be alive. No wonder I have been over a decade without taking pills, alcohol or even needing to see the doctor!
Something in me decided to try again, to explore adding in sugar. And bread and milk and cheese. Oh my. Having been full-on gluten free vegan for many years, this was a crash course in what I call: "How not to eat". My mantra right now is: oops, I've done it again. And my affirmation is: I have been here before and I am going to make it. I feel crazy, but my coach reminded me of simple wisdom: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" --Lao Tse, yet it never says in what direction. There is no good or bad food, it all just is. Just as our energy is constantly expanding and contracting, so is life.

I may not be where I would like my body to be, but I am ok with it. I heard recently someone referring to a glitch in American culture is that we "ain't ever satisfied". Seriously, in Los Angeles, you don't see many people staying at home, they're all in their car trying to get someone, to improve themselves, to be better, richer, fitter and ultimately, more human. A part of our condition is to want to improve upon who we are, what we know, how we live. Isn't knowledge key to our development? A former client, who is a chiropractor in New York sent out a newsletter this month with a definition of radiant health being resilientcy and pro-active self development. This resonates fully with me where I am now.

I may be making mistakes, but I am taking my life back from a limited viewpoint. I may have put on more weight than I am comfortable with, but I keep coming back to my yoga mat and accepting myself where I am now. I may have cravings for sugar, and really to be bad. But I am making a commitment to have limits with myself. There are many reasons that I want to take care of myself, but most importantly is because I want to learn and experience life to the best of my ability and I function better when I eat well.I am about to begin the final section of my bachelor's degree in psychology. I have a few months left before I finish my coaching training and I am 1/3 way complete with a yoga teacher training. I want the energy and focus that I know is available to me when I prioritize my self care.

I know that as I take care of myself, that I inspire others to do the same. I asked a new friend who is in treatment with anorexia yesterday, who would you be if you were not concerned about your body and food all of the time? This inspired me to answer it in my own life. Recovery is not about finding what is wrong about ourselves, but going inwards to discover the fruits of our remarkable resolve lies deep within our heart. Our heart is a part of a global heart, and by resting peacefully within, we offer a blessing to the planet. Recovery is about living in the middle, connecting with our values and living from a place of serenity. Like I said before, I will do what will not have to be undone. There are so many ways to say: Take care of yourself today for a better tomorrow.

Here are some commitments I am making to my life and to my recovery, for the benefit of past, present and future friends, family and clients:

I will do what won't be undone, and that starts with how I treat my body.
I will eat as if in full view of others.
No matter what, I will not eat sugar. You will be the first to hear about it when I want to, and I will trust that nothing is bad enough to face and everything is better when I am free from mental and physical angst that sugar induces.
I will do my best to take care of my needs better each day.

I wish you a peaceful heart, strength and courage and resiliency, for the wisdom to start where you are loving yourself as never before.

Shanti,
Waller

Beyond Disordered Eating

2010-01-17T00:22:00.000-08:00

My new resolve to write a book about breaking out of a diet is having a whiplash effect. Perhaps this blog may be the journal that will get me there. My prayers of late to recover fully from the diet mentality "for the benefit of all beings" seem to have widened my belly more than I was ready for, or at least for now.

I have made a few recent commitments to myself:
#1 no coaching until I have 30 days of sleep
#2 no planning meals
#3 no food is illegal

Tonight seemed like the perfect night for sleep. I had a couple of really good yoga practices today, a full day of teacher training, a bit of ocean air in Orange County, an evening in Irvine at the largest Whole Foods in the country and then reading Buddhist magazines at Borders and then home to conk out. Conking only lasted an hour before I was up again. What is this night time eating really? Well, tonite I was sure I was going to break the cycle only be back in the saddle again, in my new life beyond orthorexia. Having access to all of the healthy, delicious, raw vegan food is not helping. I would really like to stick with my vegan diet, but a part of me is trying to break out of having rules.

Breaking free from a diet can be one of the most uncomfortable but liberating experiences known to man or woman. I am sitting in bed writing this, after a night long exploration into the bins of sugar-filled cheese caked pantry land. I have raided a closet that is not even mine, in order that I feel some bit of pain that I can't even sit through, much longer decided what it is due to not having been with myself ever for longer than to be awake and taste the food that is coming in to deter me from the pain.

Tonight it was 3 rice cakes, an avocado, a chunk of cheese (brie and gouda), 1/2 of a real bagel, 1 piece of Taiwanese rice cake, 1/4 cup goji berries, 2 cups granola, 2 chocolate puddings, 7 chocolates, 1 large chunk peppermint bark, 1 cup orange juice and pineapple, to help digest the fat. Can that be all? All that? And then what? And then there is now and I honestly have no clue why I did what I did other than to know I am not sure what life will bring tomorrow. Perhaps that is why I do it. Fear of the unknown. Perhaps that is a load of crap and really, I am just feeding an emptiness inside that one day will recognize food and be able to separate love.

I am a living testimony to the power of intention. What you think you are, you shall become. So, in yoga these days (which is every day), I seem to think I am all-belly, and gradually expanding by the day. I have also convinced myself that my thyroid is no longer functioning and that I might as well be Oprah. There is nothing wrong with Oprah, by the way, most days, I want to be her, and today, I think I am her. At least the recent weight has broadened my vision and kept me exploring. If I were still eating brown rice and tofu and kale every meal, I would still be doing what I always did and seeing the world through the lens of what they're eating that is causing them pain, struggle and weight. What's eating me other than what I'm not eating right now, or eating that is causing air to stagnate in my belly?

Principles of breaking free from a diet (soon to appear in a full book!)

1--Lighten the significance. Don't make eating such a big deal. As my friend, Jenni Schaefer says: "Just eat!" and I add onto that one: "and get over it!".
2--Do not do what will have to be undone. I find this especially helpful for breakign free from bulimic tendencies. Eat what will not have to be gotten rid of! So, if you are going to eat the cookies, do so and let it go1 Or if they are going to caue you guilt and to have to spend extra time at the gym--move on! Do not waste your time getting rid of calories!
3--Let food be thy medicine, however, you are not sick!
4--Make each bite delicious
5--Eat as if in full view of others

En route to writing the full book, for the next 30 days, as I attempt to eat whatever I want, I will make sure to log what I am eating when, where and how. For today, it wa squite a day. I had a raw vegan quiche and pineapple for brunch, lara bar for snack, rice and indian lentils and artichokes for dinner with a bite of raw vegan chocolate and see above for the 2,000 extra calories that a part of me felt entitled to, in order that I smash every ounce of good inside of me and avoid making eye contact with the world tomorrow.

How we eat effects so much of our lives, especially our ability to relate, or not-so, to others. I am making a new resolve, to eat as if I really love myself and to love others the best I know how. This all starts with how I treat myself. Food is included and is a high priority in my self-care plan.

Are you with me on this? Taking care of ourselves is key to having a healthy life. Want to join me in the challenge to break free from the diet mentality, to make each bite--and day--delicious? To eat and get over it, but be sure that it is not something that will cause us harm? I dare you! Check back here for updates on what I am doing to grow through the diet mentality and live beyond disordered eating.

All the best,
Waller

Inspired by Faith

2010-01-01T09:03:00.000-08:00

New Year, New You. It's time, like never before to follow the calling, the voice deep within that knows what you want, what you are here to create and what you need to do so. It can sound like a committee of complainers, to notify you when you are out of alignment, or like a goldmine, wanting to share with your friends and family how good life is when you are living in alignment with your values.

Inspiration is defined as many things:
1. The physically act of breathing in or inhaling. The drawing of air into the lungs.
2. A sudden idea.
3. The feeling itself within the body of elevated energy and enthusiasm
4. The sources of inspiration is also called an inspiration. Someone or something that causes this state.
5. A product of inspiration, such as an idea, piece of art, an invention, a business, etc.

What inspires you? What are you inspired by? It could be taking a hike and noticing the view or the smells of nature, a young child playing who reminds you to smile, a delicious meal shared with friends, or your own vision and the work you've put into creating a sacred life for yourself.

I love this story about persevering beyond the social norms and following our unique and vital inspiration.

In 1883, a creative engineer named John Roebling was inspired by an idea to build a spectacular bridge connecting New York with the Long Island. However bridge building experts throughout the world thought that this was an impossible feat and told Roebling to forget the idea. It just could not be done. It was not practical. It had never been done before.

Roebling could not ignore the vision he had in his mind of this bridge. He thought about it all the time and he knew deep in his heart that it could be done. He just had to share the dream with someone else. After much discussion and persuasion he managed to convince his son Washington, an up and coming engineer, that the bridge in fact could be built.

Working together for the first time, the father and son developed concepts of how it could be accomplished and how the obstacles could be overcome. With great excitement and inspiration, and the headiness of a wild challenge before them, they hired their crew and began to build their dream bridge.

The project started well, but when it was only a few months underway a tragic accident on the site took the life of John Roebling. Washington was injured and left with a certain amount of brain damage, , which resulted in him not being able to walk or talk or even move.

"Crazy men and their crazy dreams... “"It`s foolish to chase wild visions."

Everyone had a negative comment to make and felt that the project should be scrapped since the Roeblings were the only ones who knew how the bridge could be built. In spite of his handicap Washington was never discouraged and still had a burning desire to complete the bridge and his mind was still as sharp as ever.

He tried to inspire and pass on his enthusiasm to some of his friends, but they were too daunted by the task. As he lay on his bed in his hospital room, with the sunlight streaming through the windows, a gentle breeze blew the flimsy white curtains apart and he was able to see the sky and the tops of the trees outside for just a moment.

It seemed that there was a message for him not to give up. Suddenly an idea hit him. All he could do was move one finger and he decided to make the best use of it. By moving this, he slowly developed a code of communication with his wife.

He touched his wife's arm with that finger, indicating to her that he wanted her to call the engineers again. Then he used the same method of tapping her arm to tell the engineers what to do. It seemed foolish but the project was under way again.

For 13 years Washington tapped out his instructions with his finger on his wife's arm, until the bridge was finally completed. Today the spectacular Brooklyn Bridge stands in all its glory as a tribute to the triumph of one man's indomitable spirit and his determination not to be defeated by circumstances. It is also a tribute to the engineers and their team work, and to their faith in a man who was considered mad by half the world. It stands too as a tangible monument to the love and devotion of his wife who for 13 long years patiently decoded the messages of her husband and told the engineers what to do.

Inhale into your heart center and allow yourself to be filled up as never before in 2010, and exhale and trust that all is well.

Namaste,
Waller

Radiance

2009-11-22T10:39:00.001-08:00

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
-Leonard Cohen

Radiance: the sensation of awakening the light within. The quiet place within that is always available. The light that shines down on you when you need it most. A really good friend to give you a big hug when things don't seem to be going your way.

Radiance is your birthright. It is a calling to feel better, to awaken each day to a brighter you and it is indeed necessary to your spiritual growth. As a culture, we are trained to see growing old as a painful, wrinkly experience. As a spiritual being, your work is to let go more and more each day so the wrinkles become a thing of the past and the gold shines through as times goes on.

Yoga is a way of calming the fluctuations of the mind so the body is at ease. Through yoga, you can access the radiance within, and find yourself every day shining your greatness more than ever. Yoga is not only for personal development, to cultivate a sense of confidence and groundedness within oneself, but with the practice of yoga, one begins to develop the ability to see others as themselves, and to see themselves within the web of all of life, therefore be more peaceful and connected to the ever-changing life.

Do you yoga? Do you use your yoga to enhance your life? Whether you are on your mat practicing at home, curious as to why or how to practice or in or out of balance according to how you feel today, yoga is a journey into the body in order to awaken to the radiance within and all around. Through yoga, you can become sensitive to the light within others, and shift orientation from what is to what is truth, beyond the realm of the ego and the physical body. By diving deep within oneself to digest and assimilate the stress and tension, yoga opens up the body in order that there is space for life to flow is a positive direction.

Come to yoga. Go to yoga. Get on your mat and pray. Notice how yoga is awakening the light within and shine, baby, shine.

Head's Up!

2009-11-17T06:41:00.000-08:00

"You are all Buddhas
There is nothing you need to achieve.
Just open your eyes."
 Siddhartha Gautama

What's coming: can you feel it? It's not just coming from all around us, but it is starting from within. People are starting to wake up and get the message the love is all there is. In reality, we are that which we are seeking. We already have within us the love that we are looking to find.

It is in the letting go that we are led to exactly where we need to be, and this is not far beyond the corners of our heart. Imagine an ocean, infinitely clear and expansive, in your heart center. This place is all you need in order to awaken to your true essence. The heart center holds within the key to your spontaneous and conscious awakening, that part of you that is whole, perfect and complete. There is nowhere else to go, nowhere you need to be, other than here now.

A healing is taking place on the planet. People are going further away from separation in order to come together on a deeper basis. Awakening takes place as an individual decides to leave behind a limiting thought in order to adopt a more effortless and evolved perspective. One impacts the whole, and the more people who are getting out of their own way and coming together, the greater potential for an overall shift in the planet.

What does this mean for you, me and all of us? Take the I in your life and notice the impact you are having. Is the conversation in you clear, or is it slightly negative, critical and consistently lashing out at you or others? If so, a clearing must take place in order for you to catch up, and hold on, 2010 is going to make that a whole lot easier for all of us! The planetary alignment also impacts our ability to be clear, to feel whole and connected. The planets are preparing to line up for us to be able to move into position for this next segment of time from a place that is sensational within us, thereby creating overall peace for the planet. Imagine a world where I means to serve and "we" means we are well, whole perfect and complete.

There is a realignment going on which is freeing us to go to a new place, beyond where we have ever been. Yet this time is similiar to the shift in consciousness that began in the 1960's. It is one of speaking out, weeding the gardens of our individual consciousness and coming out to bring one another along. The ones who are not willing to continue growing will die off, and be left behind. This is not to warn you, but to awaken you to see and feel your potential. Keep coming back here to learn more about where we are going together, and leave behind the times that you felt alone, afraid. You cannot imagine how much love and light is being poured in through the global heart right now. As we move forward going into the unknown, accept nothing that has been given to us, unless it is useful in opening the heart.

Namaste,
Waller

Live Your Dream

2009-11-16T07:09:00.000-08:00

"You came so that you could learn about your dreams," said the old woman. "And dreams are the language of God. When he speaks in our language, I can interpret what he has said. But if he speaks in the language of the soul, it is only you who can understand." Paulo Coehlo

What are your innermost convictions? Are you in touch with that small, quiet voice within yourself that is a bright light constantly seeking expression? You will know you are out of alignment if what shows up for you feels terribly limiting or restrictive. Perhaps the story repeats itself, and you notice yourself running the same conversation and getting nowhere. Or the conversation morphs itself to include a new victim, or a new way of victimizing you. Notice: who is the star of the story you are creating?

When learning to live in alignment with your dreams, it is not about putting an end to the story, or the conversation within yourself. There is a distinction between judgment and observation, and when you are aligned with your inner radiance--the light within you--the observer self comes to notice what is showing up and therein lies the power to create a more benevolent story.

You can't let praise or criticism get to you, but I was reminded by a friend that the Bible speaks about the return of love many times over to those who have experienced oppression. If you have been a victim in your life, you can be assured it is so that you grow more than you thought possible in order to awaken to a more effortless way of living. Unless you would like to stay in the comfortably numb position, believing that you deserve to be less than a whole, perfect and complete human being, you have the power to choose wisely to write a new story that aligns with your soul's desire.

Your soul is here to create a uniquely abundant story. Our planet is shifting to enable the light within us to shine brightly, otherwise, the darkness takes over and inhibits our growth as well as the expansion of consciousness. Look around at all of the amazing art, music and life being created in your community. Each of us has within us an inspiring story, a blessing that we are carrying forth. By holding back from our potential, we prevent expansion of our soul, as well as connect with others on the level of heartache and pain. Wouldn't you rather see the love in others, to see the light and potential, and beyond the struggle and come together in this place of love?

Your work is to:

pray for the people or situations who bring up for you how stressful life can be
start with yourself by being the blessing that you want for the world
speak from your soul, from the place of possibility
relinquish the benefits of being a more loving presence in the world, and notice a shift in all of your relationships
when life shows up to remind you that you might not be on the right track, be rest assured it is only because you are not living your potential
dare to live your dreams, seeing beyond what is in order to become who you can be

Pray Like Your Life Depends on It!

2009-11-09T06:41:00.000-08:00

Get down on your knees and pray, oh my. Get down on your knees and pray.
When life speeds up and your left shut out, get down on your knees and pray.
Learn to laugh a little, love a lot and when all else fails, get down on your knees and pray.
Love shows up to bring light to your heart, and leaves again to show you there's more to come.
If you can't see the truth beyond the darkness, get down on your knees and pray.
Love more effortlessly, believing there is always more to come when your heart breaks open.
If your left out of wondering where the love is, get down on your knees and pray.
Find out how grace works and the openness occurs, when you get down on your knees and pray.

Om Shanti!

This is one day to pray like you really mean it, love like you might die without it, and not leave without thanking the world for blessing you and yourself for being a shining light!

What is prayer?
A mode of intentional thought, directing your energy towards that which you want to believe is true! And if it is not already, then think your way there! If you are praying for a friend, see, feel and believe your blessing to be already true for them. Our work together is to hold each other in our highest lights, to see the light in one another and to go there, to rest there, to not settle for anything less than pure love.

This sounds lilke a fantasy, you cannot be right--how do I not settle for anything less than pure love?
No matter what, you find the thoughts that feel good to you. When you are judging someone else, you are condemning yourself to a sentence of punitary confinement, stuck in the muck for what they are bringing up for you, and while it seems that they are the bearer of bad news, YOU my friend, are the one who thought first that they might be different or separate from you. In reality, you are they and they are you!

How do I heal? How to heal? Let it reveal! Allow the light in you to guide your thinking. When the darkness comes up, let it be, then SHINE like you really mean it! Question yourself, especially the judge deep within. Shake things up a bit and find a way to love!
How do I pray? Start right now! Feel your way to the prayer within. If you are missing something, feeling empty, call on light, call on love. Allow your body to be a resevoir for healing love, to alchemize your pain. If you are praying for one another, keep going! Allow the love in you to naturally bless the world in which you live, breathe and share your prayers. Your breath, your life, your intention is naturally blessing everyone whom you think about and come across on this day. Even those who don't even know you can feel you. Your work is to live your life like a prayer, as if you have the power to impact and heal people across the world.

Lovingkindness Meditation

2009-11-06T09:30:00.001-08:00

Faith is sometimes not enough. We can fake it until we make it, but sometimes we just need to feel like we are not alone, but also that we are not suffering beyond belief. The simple action of prayer can help to shift the committee going on in our head, but sometimes this is not enough. There are many more tools at your disposal here,but for the time-being, what can you do to feel connected to all that is, o dial in to the reservoir of healing that is available to each and every one of us, and is our natural birthright? Have you ever felt disconnected, and then been touched by grace in the form of an angel or a miracle? Your life can be filled with these things, when you are oriented to the healing power you have within yourself.

This simple meditation can shift your inner world to being more in line with the openness and receptivity of your heart's calling. Lovingkindness generates the sensation of loving ourselves while loving others, so that we may become kind, compassionate, gentle, patient and receptive.

Lovingkindness, or metta meditation, as it is called in Buddhist practices:

1. Start by coming to a comfortable seating position, or lying down, find your breath, and allow your breath to be natural, even and relaxed. Drop inside.
2. Think of someone whose love has touched you profoundly, or that you love unconditionally. Allow the experience of this love to come over you, and rest in the sensation in your heart center.
3. Say the blessings below to yourself, inserting their name in replacement of the "I.

May I be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I be safe and protected.
May I be free of mental suffering or distress.
May I be happy.
May I be free of physical pain and suffering.
May I be healthy and strong.
May I be able to live in this world happily,
peacefully, joyfully, with ease.

4. Move to yourself. Connect with the sensation of loving kindness in your heart center, and say the blessings above (or in your own words).

5. Move to friends and family. Bless specific people, or friends and family as a whole.

6. Expand your blessings to include your city or town.

7. Expand to include your state, country, the world.

8. Notice the impact of connecting yourself to the resevoir of love has on your energy.

I like to practice lovingkindness meditation first thing in the morning, before getting out of bed. I find that it impacts the quality of my thoughts and energy throughout the day, as well as opens me up to being available to live a more prayerful life and maintain a holy state of being.

Be in Peace,

Waller

Food Matters.

2009-11-02T17:10:00.000-08:00

Affiliates
"Let thy Food be thy Medicine and thy Medicine be thy Food" - Hippocrates. That is the message from the founding father of modern medicine echoed in the controversial new documentary film Food Matters from Producer-Directors James Colquhoun and Laurentine ten Bosch.

With nutritionally-depleted foods, chemical additives and our tendency to rely upon pharmaceutical drugs to treat what's wrong with our malnourished bodies, it's no wonder that modern society is getting sicker. Food Matters sets about uncovering the trillion dollar worldwide 'sickness industry' and gives people some scientifically verifiable solutions for overcoming illness naturally.

"With access to better information people invariably
make better choices for their health..."

In what promises to be the most contentious idea put forward, the filmmakers have interviewed several leading experts in nutrition and natural healing who claim that not only are we harming our bodies with improper nutrition, but that the right kind of foods, supplements and detoxification can be used to treat chronic illnesses as fatal as terminally diagnosed cancer.

The focus of the film is in helping us rethink the belief systems fed to us by our modern medical and health care establishments. The interviewees point out that not every problem requires costly, major medical attention and reveal many alternative therapies that can be more effective, more economical, less harmful and less invasive than conventional medical treatments.

The ‘Food Matters' duo have independently funded the film from start to finish in order to remain as unbiased as possible, delivering a clear and concise message to the world. Food Matters.

Detox Your Way to Radiant Health

2009-10-31T06:57:00.000-07:00

A systemic cleansing and detox is definitely the way to go after each holiday. It is the key to stabilizing high blood pressure, reducing risk for heart disease, cancer, and other health-related illnesses. I get asked quite often, how do I detox? What is a detox you recommend? Even if I don't get asked, some clients come to me so stopped up, that I know we cannot clear their energy or emotions until the digestive system is relaxed. Often times, we walk around with our stomach in knots thinking that our life is in knots. If we release the toxins, it is amazing how much more effortless life seems. It is all a matter of perspective, but from experience, when the energy is clear, our light can shine brightly, and we have the energy to see and feel what we need to keep clearing in order to awaken to greater radiance.

I have a 5 Day Detox that I can send to you if you sign up for my newsletter here or email chi@createradiance.com

Things to be mindful of when considering a detox or cleanse.
*Notice your energy before you begin. If you are all considering a cleanse or a detox, you may already be aware of your energy, and notice also how your energy shifts during and after the cleanse.
*The first 2-3 days may not be pleasant. If you can breakthrough the hump, you will feel so much better in the long run.
*Plan to spend more time being quiet and alone. Journal if you like, and give yourself plenty of rest.
*Drink water.
*Get optimal sleep, try to be in bed at 10-11 pm and allow yourself to wake naturally, if you can.
*Add in slowly the foods you cut out. Try one at a time, for a few days. Such as: if you cut out dairy, add just dairy in and 5-7 days later, add in something else you cut out--such as wheat--if you like. Notice the impact on your energy, mood and digestion.

Visit these links for more Soul inspired guidance:
Relax more here
Discover your life purpose
Make each day delicious

Awareness of Movement

2009-10-23T08:49:00.000-07:00

Awareness changes how we physically move. As we become more fluid and resilient so do the mental, emotional and spiritual movements of our lives. - Emilie Conrad

Movement is relative. If you are where you are, and you are seeking well-being, then you are on a path of radiant health, which includes, but is not limited to becoming aware of the space you are taking up and the feeling of inhabiting your body. Stillness is the sensation of all things being calm and focused within yourself and your environment, but even within stillness, there is movement. Consider the breath. You do not have to teach yourself to breathe, nor do you have to cue the breath to come, but you do have to breathe to continue to grow and develop. Yet the breath is movement, the breath inspires movement in the body--circulation of the cells--which also triggers movement of the mind. As the lymph circulates, the cells are moved around, thoughts and feelings are put into motion and create emotion and the body becomes alive.

Would you agree with me that there are levels to aliveness? That vitality is not dependent upon how much time you spend on the computer, but how free you are to be inside the body. There are ways to become free, freer, than you currently are or than you ever thought possible. We have talked so far about letting go by allowing the lymphatic system to have a "party", as well as breathing deeply to move things further, now that the body is light, and hopefully the mind feels more at ease, you are given full permission to move forward in an upward and expansion motion.

Movement is not only upward and outward, but downward and inward as well. Imagine walking, you lift a leg, and then it has to come back to the ground. What does up, must come down, and move around and around and around until given permission to freely rest and rejuvenate. If you are struggling with some aspect of your health, you may have been moving, you most likely have moved so much that some days you just can't make it to the gym. Have you ever thought about listening to the voice within that does not want to workout? I can guarantee you there is a message there for you. Perhaps you are not doing the kind of exercise that inspires you. Perhaps you are doing someone else's vision for what you should do, and this causes a rebellion deep within yourself that tries to get in the way of you meeting your goals.

Exercise does not have to be going to the gym. Just as beneficial can be walking in the grass barefoot, where not only is the body in motion, but enhances circulation, encourages deep breathing and is rejuvenating to the body. How about taking a rest from overdoing your workout and undo the damage by letting go a bit in nature?
Nothing happens until something moves. -Albert Einstein

If you think about what goes up must come down, imagine this: for every action there is a reaction. So if you are trying to get buff and so ripping your muscles in the gym, there is a part of you that might be craving rest, and the body is so used to being stressed out by work, going to the gym, and the toxins that are surrounding us just by being alive in today's world, that you can't help but want to continue the stress cycle by overeating, or reaching for what is going to take your breath away.

Imagine exercise that is led by the body, and not by some magazine's idea of what you should do to lose weight or to rip up your abs. Imagine dancing, feeling free to allow the energy to circulate, the spirit and calling within to vibrate and release, and thereby harmonizing your inner world with the outer world. This sensation is available to you. You will know, after a moment of stillness, of a period of slowing down, what your body is craving. This may not be what you think you need to do to relax, or what your body needs to be in shape, or what your mind needs to be fit. But, imagine inhabiting the body to the fullest expression of your spirit. Does this include going to the gym? it might today. It might tomorrow. It might for this period of your life be giving your body exactly what it needs. But there is also a time for rejuvenation, and there are other options for fitness, other than high-powered electric machines to step upon to get you moving.

Give your mind a break by stepping out in nature. The fresh air will enable you to let go even further, and help your cells to circulate and heart to open. Just get moving, every day. Even a basic movement such as lifting your head towards the sky, by softening the neck and tongue and being mindful of your gaze is movement that the body requires to regenerate itself. You are moving enough if you are feeling how you move through your day. That does not have to be any more than what you are doing now. Trust that when you relax, get to know how it feels to inhabit the body, you will become aware of exactly what you need to do, how you need to be, to move forward into life. Like my dad says, "I follow my feet around." Try something new. Do not plan your workout routine. Allow your body to guide you there. Learn to listen and move from that place of inner stillness.

Relax more here

Launch of Create Radiance

2009-10-21T17:36:00.000-07:00

Hi! Happy Halloween and sweet autumn season! We have been working hard to test and create the best products for you, our valued customer. We know you are a busy, hard working person who values your health, but may not have the time to focus on what exactly you need to be, do and have to achieve perfect balance and that's where we come in...

Create Radiance is your personal solution to create radiant well-being the holistic way for life.

We offer programs, services and product to help you start where you are to feel better and create a roadmap for your healthiest and happiest life the holistic way.

Our first, most exciting offer is Relax Your Way to Radiant Health ebook, free when you sign up for a consultation. A consultation is a 30-minute conversation, where you are paired with a health counselor to discuss your health goals and get you started on the journey to create radiant well-being. Conditions we treat: depression, anxiety, hormonal imbalances (PMS, menopause), headaches, hyper/hypo thyroid, eating disorders, insomnia, low energy and/or libido, weight loss or gain. We work with you to create a recovery plan that is based on your unique and individual needs and are here guiding you to reclaim your healthiest self.

You may have tried to do it alone, and it worked for a while before life caught up with you.

Create Radiance is here to support, educate and empower you to discover the healer within and to strengthen you connection to Source energy to heal on a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual level.

I am Waller McInnes, director of Create Radiance Wellness. I have studied nutrition, meditation and energy medicine around the world, after reclaiming my health from struggling with imbalances and disease for more than a decade. I am certified in health counseling, yoga, pilates and meditation, and a student of Feldenkrais, Chi Gong. My teachers include Deepak Chopra, Andrew Weil, Dr. Walter Willet, Seane Corn and many more. I am constantly learning so that I can help you live a longer, happier, healthier life and feel better now.

If you are interested in a consultation, as well as receiving a free "Relax Your Way to Radiant Health" ebook, call 615.618.6556 or email consultations@createradiance.com

I am with you on the path to recover your health and reclaim your inner radiance.

May you relax in the sensation that all is well.

Much love,

Waller

Eat More Grains

2009-10-18T11:14:00.000-07:00

My favorite grain is brown rice, but I find I can eat it for days before I realize that variety is the spice of life. Brown rice is balanced, but other grains offer a nutritional punch not unlike brown rice's balancing tone, yet with a wider array of content.

Take teff for example. You may have had teff and not known it if you have eaten Ethiopian food, where the bread, injera, is made out of teff flour (though not gluten free, in most restaurants). Teff is gluten free. Teff is also good for the heart, since it is red-toned (specifically chocolate-colored) a species of lovegrass from Ethiopia believed to have originated between 4000 BC and 1000 BC. The tiny seedy grain has an attractive nutrition profile, being high in dietary fiber and iron and providing protein and 17 times more calcium than whole wheat or barley.

And for those with celiac, there is good news! Thanks to a test developed by the Leiden University Medical Center (LUMC) it has shown that Teff is completely gluten-free, meaning it can probably be accommodated in the diet of patients suffering from celiac disease. Teff is a healthy wheat alternative, and there are ways to make it delicious. Featerued above is basic teff, flourished with avocado slices and cilantro, with a side of boiled collard greens and adzuki-squash soup. The entire meal has: 420 calories, 16 grams protein, 10 grams fat

Basic Teff:
1/2 cup teff
2 cups water
pinch sea salt

Bring water to a boil, add teff and sea salt. Simmer, covered for 15 minutes.
*this can also be made into a porridge for breakfast, add some molasses and slivered almonds.
Makes 2 servings
Nutrition Facts:
1 serving
Calories: 103
Fat: 1 g
Fiber: 2 g
Carbohydrate: 20 g

Radiant Health

2009-10-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but health starts with me. I have to be centered in my self before I can get out their and do my work. I have learned this the hard way many times, and I am living testimony to how to use your own inner guide to heal yourself. I struggled with stress, over and undereating, depression, anxiety, and feeling confused for much of my life. Until I started practicing principles inherent in each of us as children, yet with time and trauma, we train ourselves to reside outside of our bodies, where we are not fully safe.

So I left my body at a young age, and decided I was not worthy of happiness or success. I went on a 12 year long journey exploring how not to eat, take care of myself, be happy and healthy. I struggled to feel strong, integrated, yet I kept seeking.
I know now what I didn't know then...what my body needs, how to give myself what I am looking for, and the art of meditation when I feel confused.

There are specific ways to find perfect health now, and if that feels overwhelming, then give yourself 24 hours.

Sleep. Always an option. I recommend sleeping when the lights go out, when the sun goes down. Making it a priority to go to sleep at a reasonable hour--10 pm, and certainly no later than 11pm. If you are reading this, you are most likely looking to feel better, and I guarantee you that making sleep a priority and giving yourself enough sleep in the optimal hours will enhance your radiant health more than anything. Your metabolism and hormones will love you for it, and your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual bodies will be able find balance and serenity when you sleep well.

Eat. That is not only when hungry. If you are struggling with your health, then more than likely you are disconnected from your true appestat (inner radar system for when to eat, how much to eat). Eat optimal amounts of protein and essential fatty acids. Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, and snacks in between, if you find yourself thinking about food or worried about food. Eat and get over it. Move forward with radiant energy and create a healthy and happy life.

Breathe. Easier said than done. Especialy if you are still alive, you are most likely still breathing. Learning to breathe deeply will change your life. Yoga can help with this. So can doing anything that relaxes you (and does not involve the internet or tv). Meditation can help, especially as you focus on your breath, and let go of anything else.

Love. Start with yourself. Give yourself the love that you are looking to find. Treat yourself as your own best friend. Cut ties with the relationships that are holding you back. Learn to open your heart, and do what it takes to keep it so. Try yoga. Try walking in nature. Drink water. Soothe your heart, relax your mind and fall in love with the life you are creating.

Deepak Chopra has a guide on creating Perfect Health, available here
Although we experience our bodies as solid, they are in fact more like fires that are constantly being consumed and renewed. We grow new stomach linings every five days, for instance. Our skin is new every five weeks. Each year, fully 98 percent of the total number of atoms in our bodies is replaced. Ayurveda gives us the tools to intervene at this quantum level, where we are being created anew each day. Ayurveda tells us that freedom from sickness depends on contacting our own awareness, bringing it into balance, and then extending that balance to the body.

Perfect Health provides a complete step-by-step program of mind body medicine tailored to individual needs. A quiz identifies the reader's mind body type: thin, restless Vata; enterprising, efficient Pitta; tranquil, steady Kapha; or any combination of these three. This body type becomes the basis for a specific Ayurvedic program of diet, stress reduction, neuromuscular integration, exercise, and daily routines. The result is a total plan, tailor-made for each individual, to reestablish the body's essential balance with nature; to strengthen the mind body connection; and to use the power of quantum healing to transcend the ordinary limitations of disease and aging--in short, for achieving Perfect Health.

Pray. You are living a prayer. If your life feels limiting, notice the conversations you are having with yourself. Do what it takes to be the blessing that you are to the world by going within, finding serenity and sharing from that place of inner stillness, receptivity and love. When you judge others, it is like drinking poison while waiting for the other person to die. Own your gifts and accept that we are all in this together. When you see someone who has what you don't want, trust that you can only see in them what is perhaps dormant in you. Integrate your shadow to own your radiance.

I am in a video available here by Debbie Ford, including Deepak Chopra and Dr. David Simon, which will guide you through the process of owning your shadow in order to discover the light within.

Keep coming back to learn more ways to create radiant health. Let me know what's working for you, and what you'd like to read about in learning about achieving radiant health.

African Delight

2009-10-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

I spent a semester in college in Africa. Upon flying into Nairobi, Kenya and looking for common ground between me and the rest of the unfamiliar world, I was soon greeted by a crew of 11 otther "majungos" (Swahili for "white man") to journey into the African bush. I could not have predicted the intense and invigorating adventures we endured.

We were chased by a herd of elephants. This is the type of thing that you hear about in the movies. It did indeed happen to us on the first week of bushwacking through the bamboo forest. (FYI: it is difficult to predict what lies ahead when trudging through the bamboo) All of a sudden we heard "Coooowee!" from an accompanying Masai warrior, and a clearing opened up as the bamboo went leaning on it's side to make way for the majungos in the front of the line.

"Drop your pack and run like mad." I had no idea, but I felt in my heart that this was not a false alarm. So I followed order, and was not quite sure where I would end up. I was so delighted to have the 85 pound pack off my back, that I felt lighter in my toes than expected and so could really run. And run we did, until we got to the clearing and could see, and hear the elephants in the distance rearing up. Fortunately for us, they were corned with the option to run up a hill or have to forge the bamboo, and so frighteningly confused. Elephants are basically big babies, I learned on that day. They can hear and so follow, but they can't really see. Imagine someone who has a gift for music, they may not be so concerned with being able to see the performance, but the listening is what guides them. Same with the elephant, they can hear with their big, droopy ears, but they sure aren't too concerned where they step.

I went windsurfing off the coast of Kenya. This sounds like a luxurious experience, but for one month we lived on a "dhao", a century-old sail boat carved out of a mangrove tree. We slept on the planks, fished for whatever white fish we could find, and combined that with ungawi "African cake", which was a very basic white grain, cooked over a ticky fire, made tasty with African tabasco sauce. Mmm. Yum. Eating with your hands was required on the boat, as was following orders by the pirates (or muslim sailors). So was taking risks and jumping off the boat at times. We carried in the boat the equipment for windsurfing, and I loved trying it. On one particular afternoon, I was engrossed in the opportunity to sail away in the African sea, and the deep red sunset was drawing me in until I heard a yell from far off. I looked away from the horizon and towards one of the sailors, who I will refer to as Bob. His name was Bob, but he could not speak enough English to say his own name, and so stuck with one word: "Spaghetti."

I heard Bob yelling in his own language. I fell over and suddenly I found myself in the deep and dark African ocean, being carried by massive waves. He was on his own surf board, and I assumed perhaps he wanted me to come back to the boat. I was alone in the big sea, and all I could to do to get back to the boat was to ride the waves on the surf board. This encouraged me to become preficient in windsurfing, where otherwise I was a bit imbalanced and slightly uncoordinated. As I rode back that evening, I felt free. I feel like I have just broken the law, and no one needed to know about it, but I knew I had been where I would never go again, and perhaps where no one near me had ever been. When I got back to the boat, I discovered that I had crossed the Kenyan border and was in Ethiopia. No wonder that afternoon seemed so magical.

Ethiopian Red Lentils

2 T ghee* (or olive oil)
½ cup red onion, small dice
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 T fresh ginger, mince d
1 tsp. turmeric
1 cup red lentils, soaked for one hour
3 cups butternut squash, cubed
3 cups water

Melt the ghee in a large pan.
Sautee the red onion in the ghee for about a minute, and then add the garlic and ginger. Do not let them turn brown, but allow them to soften a bit.
Add the turmeric and stir.
Next, add in the red lentils, stir, and pour in the water.
Once the water comes to a boil, add in the butternut squash.
Let the lentils and butternut squash simmer for about 30-40 minutes, and then season well with salt.

*Ghee is a clarified butter common in Ethiopian (and Indian) cooking. It is sold in most supermarkets, and definitely in organic food stores.

The Struggle is the Blessing

2009-10-17T07:41:00.001-07:00

In reaching out, I find there is always a friend. It is in reaching in, that we can scare ourselves away from the light that is always available to us. Where are you reaching? What are you looking for when you go within? If there are parts of you that are unhealed–and if you are human there most certainly are–then there may be an urge from within to pick apart the parts of you that need light.

This post was inspired by a blog I have found by a woman who works with eating disorders: Crystal Heiderich
She writes letters to herself to shed light upon the gifts in the parts of herself that may have found unhealthy outlets, and in so doing discovers her gift.

Here is my gift to my body today, which is in need of some deep healing and restoration.

Dear Body,
I hear you. I hear you are tired. I hear you want me to love you and to be gentle with you. I hear you want to have fun, to enjoy life, to connect with friends, to be in nature, to practice and teach yoga and to find balance. I hear you want to find a place to live that satisfies your soul and a healthy community. I hear you have been afraid of growing up, and instead you have used food to hold you back.
I hear what you want is to be in the joy of life, to relax and trust, to work at what you love, to love being in your body, to be in the moment and to move forward into life from this moment on with your head up and feeling supported.
I give you permission to come out and play. I give you permission to follow your heart–to inspire others to enjoy being in the body and in the process reconnect with the love inside of you.
I promise to be gentle with you from this moment on. I promise to ask you before I feed you what you need and to take deep breaths as I move through the day. I promise to check in with your feelings and to not move you too far out of your comfort zone. I promise to allow you to play on a daily basis, to laugh and sing and dance and spend time in nature and with friends. I promise to allow your energy to be used as you teach what you love and live free for all and for good. I promise to speak about what I want to bring about and keep your conversations in a positive and inspired light.
images-3
I love you and others love you and you are precious to the world. The world is waiting for you to come out and shine. I am here and so are your friends and family to receive the positive messages stored deep within your soul. Let it out. Let your self shine. Be yourself, in all of your splendor and radiance.

Here is a daily prayer that I am using these days to remind me of truth:
July__, 2009
The day when God’s grace awakens your heart and touches your Soul.
I will live my life with gratitude and faith in trust that I am being guided and supported in being happy and healthy. I am safe to express myself and to be me.
I forgive myself and all others for all mistakes. I release all stress and struggle or temptations to feel incomplete. I am whole, perfect and complete.
I surrender to a more effortless life and move forward on solid ground to creating a deeply satisfying, nourishing and abundant life. Thanks be to God! And so it is.

Namaste,
Waller

Calm Your Sweet Side

2009-10-17T07:39:00.001-07:00

Fall is the time of year when the sweet taste is in season. You may notice yourself craving more sweets, and also be aware of the foods that are starting to be in season are round, sweet foods (ie apples, onions, squashes)
It is important to keep yourself fed with the sweet taste, so that you are satisfied and not at risk to eat the gallon of ice cream or box of cookies. The tips below are certain to heal your body and calm your mind to continue living a sweet life.

5 Steps for Beating Sugar Cravings:

1. Eat Whole Grains and sweet vegetables.
2. Chew Well
3. Give up restricting yourself and pick up enjoying life.
4. Try natural sweeteners (see below)
5. Be patient with yourself. Love yourself. Spend time with sweet people.

Natural Sweeteners

Maple syrup is an excellent substitute for sugar. It is high in trace minerals like zinc and manganese, which can assist in heart health and in balancing cholesterol levels. The light “Grade A” or “Number 1 can contain formaldehyde runoff from the first extraction of the syrup under certain processing conditions. All the other grades are safe, but Grade C (the darkest amber syrup) is the best.

Honey is another item that’s often presented as a healthy alternative to refined sugar, but it is sometimes controversial. People who react to sugar as a “brain allergy” (especially common in children, for whom it can trigger ADD/ADHD symptoms) may react to honey the same way. It is high glycemic, and hits the body as a hard sweet. Raw, unpasteurized honey is rich in elements which can help with wound healing, kill bacteria, soothe sore throats and digestive upset, and decrease local allergy symptoms. Honey is also sweeter than sugar by volume, so you need less in baking or cooking.

Agave is a sweetener extracted from a South American cactus, and traditionally used to make tequila. Often called “honey water,” the agave nectar or agave syrup is light, both in taste and colour. It is runnier than honey and tastes much milder, but is in fact sweeter so even less is required in cooking. Agave is extraordinarily low glycemic – it has almost no impact on blood sugar, making it an ideal sweetener for diabetics and those who are sensitive to sugars.

Blackstrap molasses is a sweetener that is actually good for you. Unlike refined white sugar and corn syrup, which are stripped of virtually all nutrients except simple carbohydrates, or artificial sweeteners like saccharine or aspartame, which not only provide no useful nutrients but have been shown to cause health problems in sensitive individuals, blackstrap molasses is a healthful sweetener that contains significant amounts of a variety of minerals that promote your health.

Brown rice syrup is a liquid sweetener with the consistency of honey. It can be substituted for honey in baking. It has a unique caramel-like flavor that can be used to enhance a recipe, but it will disappear if used sparingly in a recipe. Brown rice syrup metabolizes slowly but does have calories and carbohydrates. Diabetics and low-carb dieters should use it with caution. Brown rice syrup is considered to be one of the healthiest sweeteners in the natural food industry, since it is produced from a whole food source and is made up of the simple sugars.

Foods to emphasize:

• Whole Grains
• Beans
• Miso
• Sweet Vegetables: Carrots, onions, winter squash, cabbage
• Brown rice mochi

Snack Ideas

• Dates stuffed with almond or walnut
• Apple with nut butter
• Rice cake with agave, jam or brown rice syrup
• Tea with molasses
• Carrots with hummus
• Handful of almonds, walnuts, pumpkin seeds

Recipes for Radiance

Azuki-Squash-Kombu
Makes 4 servings

Soaking time: 8 hours or over night
Preparation time: 15 minutes
Cooking time: 2 + hours

Ingredients:

1 cup azuki beans, washed, and soaked in 2 cups water

1 cup hard winter squash (such as butternut, buttercup or kabocha), cut in large cubes

1-inch square piece of kombu

1/4 teaspoon sea salt

water

parsley, chopped, for garnish

•Place the kombu on the bottom of a heavy pot.
•Add the soaked beans with soaking water and, if necessary add enough water to just cover the beans.
•Bring to a boil over a medium flame. When it comes to boil, cover the pot, reduce the flame to low, and simmer for 1 hour.
•Add a little water occasionally, as needed, to keep the beans just covered. Do not add too much water, as the less water there is the more rich the flavor of the beans will be.
•After 1 hour, place the squash on top of the azukis, re-cover the pot and continue simmering 1 hour more. The beans and squash should both be very tender at this point.
•Add the salt by sprinkling over the top of the beans and squash. Stir salt in a little, very gently so as not to break up the squash piece, and cook 15 minutes more, uncovered to reduce the liquid. If there is still a lot of water after 15 minutes you can continue simmering uncovered as long as you like, just keep the flame very low and check regularly to make sure it does not scorch.
•Serve hot garnished with parsley.

Leftovers will keep refrigerated up to 3 days.

Relax into your Radiance

2009-10-17T07:36:00.000-07:00

Step into the here and now. Every ounce of you is welcome here, especially the uncomfortable parts of you. If you are struggling with your weight, fighting an eating disorder or an addiction, stressed out by your work or relationship, it may seem like a chore to relax these days. I don’t blame you for not wanting to sit still, because the discomfort may seem so overwhelming that the idea of relaxing is not even in sight or on your mind. I can relate to this, indeed and experience a similiar sensation when I make an appointment to go have a massage when I really need it, and then the time comes and I am alright and at ease.

Relaxation is the key to optimal wellbeing. It is vital to spend your day in a state of relaxation for your body to heal, grow, develop, process, detoxify and regulate itself from the inside out. If you are not relaxing enough, you may be stressed out and feel like you are out of control. You may have more issues than you feel like you deserve, and at the same time be unable to shake off things that are bothering you. If any of this soudns familiar, I invite you to be with me here now and relax as you are, and take some of what you are learning here into your daily life.

Do you agree with me that you need to breathe in order to live? And that one breath leads to the next breath, and on and on, but that the deeper you breathe, the easier it is to relax? So, focusing on your breath is an exclellent way to relax in the here and now. The breath can guide you out of your mind, or stress and drop you down into a state of being.

Here is a breathing exercise to calm anxiety.

Four-Seven-Eight Breath

Best done sitting but can be done standing or lying down.

1. Sit with your back straight and your hands resting comfortably in your lap or on your thighs.

Look straight ahead, yet try not to fix your gaze on anything in particular. Slightly closing your eyes helps.

Try to focus internally on your breathing.

All inhalations are done through your NOSE; all exhalations through your MOUTH.

Throughout the exercises keep the tip of your tongue in contact with the top of your mouth, just behind your top teeth.

2. Commence inhaling slowly, smoothly and deeply to a mental count of 4 seconds. Fill your lower lungs first (by pushing out your abdomen), then your middle and upper lungs.

Hold your breath for a mental count of 7 seconds.

Slowly and smoothly exhale for a mental count of 8 seconds.

As you exhale, try to let go of all your anxiety, tension & stress.

That’s one round. Pause briefly without inhaling then start another round. This natural pauseis very therapeutic and relaxing.

Do 10-12 rounds to begin. Build up to 25-30 rounds several times a day AND whenever you feel anxious or nervous, etc.

Summary: Inhale for 4 seconds – Hold for 7 seconds – Exhale for 8 seconds – Pause briefly – Repeat.

Benefits

* Calms your mind
* Tones your nervous system
* Regulates your breathing
* Balances your emotions

Tips

* Can be done anywhere – on a bus, in a line, at work, before a test
* If you lose your breath, stop, breathe freely then try again
* With practice your pauses between rounds will naturally get longer
* Soothing music or ear plugs can help reduce external distractions

Ocean of Bliss

2009-10-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

"Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen

I am working on a manual for relaxation, and so doing research on what that is really. In my experience, deep breathing, healthy sleep, optimal nutrition and hydration, fulfilling relationships and time for self-nurturing all aid in the relaxation response. There is one simple principle that I am keenly trying to practice that you may want to know about...

That is: stop talking nonsense.
By getting quiet and going within yourself, there you will find solace in the Ocean of Bliss. Not only that, but perhaps it will cut your stress in half. If what you speak about you bring about, and you are constantly referring to what is stressing you out, imagine not talking at all until you have something positive and reflective to share to inspire with another being? Or perhaps a glimpse of gratitude for what you are learning or hope for the journey ahead.

I notice there are days when I talk about what is wrong with me and my life. And then what I get deep within is a conversation that goes something like this: you are horrible, shameful, should not do that or go there. I am like Thomas the Tank Engine with attempting full-steam-ahead, yet putting off noxious steam. I am not saying to hold it all in...there is a place for letting go, and therapy is always an option!

Notice who you are talking to and what is motivating you to speak. Perhaps sit on your hands until you have something nice or positive to say. Or until you feel inspired by what your unique and individual mind is aimed to create.

The schism in your soul does not need to create a dent in another's heart...
There is a mysterious power in going within and getting quiet to find the answers. Do you notice a familiar conversation in your life? How true is it really that you need to figure out the problem? How liberating it is to realize that you are whole, perfect and complete and that there is an Ocean of Bliss within you that is your own personal reservoir for love, and that you can marinate in it fully and completely and trust that everyone has access to this sensation.

Choose to be quiet today. Notice the conversations you are having with yourself, and if there is a war going on, perhaps you are plugged into the wrong outlet. Get still and know that the Ocean of Bliss within you is always available and you are not responsible for trying to figure out the problem or the solution to other people's pain. You will know love when you develop the ability to sit still with yourself and the mind is quiet and the voices within are reminding you of your precious nature.

So talk less. Feel more. Go within to find love. Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.

Access your own Ocean of Bliss by placing your fingers on the area in the middle of your chest, on your breastbone. Breathe in through your nose, out through the mouth. And deepen the sensation by placing the other hand on your solar plexus, and then moving that hand down to your navel. Feel the connection, the sensation of letting go, and rest in your own personal Ocean of Bliss.

Why Weight?

2009-10-15T08:07:00.000-07:00

I was reminded this week that I had not been meditating. For me, that is usually not such a big deal, since I was committed to meditation for 4 years or so every day, sometimes twice. But in the past 5 months, I have not meditated one time. At the same time, my life took off in every direction possible. I attempted to move to Santa Fe, Vancouver, considered Hawaii and should be in New York today if my mind was in control. Unfortunately, my mind has been a bit out of control and I have done a very unique dance around what is.

Indeed what has shown up since I set aside meditation is a bit of chaos, but I am grateful for the truths that have been revealed to me and look forward to the opportunity to sit through this next segment of life and digest what I have learned to assimilate the damage. It is only by allowing the pain to be there, the darkness, the stuff that is truly frightening that we are able to grow up and transform. After years of struggling with anorexia and bulimia, I have given up the struggle. In the process, I have had to sit through more shame and guilt than I ever though possible, only to watch it pass by, as if I am a bystander and it is a circus that comes to town, and then goes. I learn that by allowing the show to go on, acknowledging its presence, that it has less of a pull on me.

Here is how it goes.
I made a mistake. (Eating Disorder: I ate too much food) I get over it. I see someone who reminds me that perhaps I am too large for my skin. I question reality. Who's judging really? I acknowledge that this is not my story, that this is a limiting perspective that once I used to keep me safe, but that it is not true any longer.

How true is it really that you are fat or that you need to lose weight?
Wouldn't it feel better to love yourself as you are and to take right now to relax just a bit, allowing all the energy inside of you to assimilate and let go of thinking there is something wrong with you?

There is something wrong with society, in case you haven't gotten the memo.

There is something wrong with mothers putting their daughters on diets, or keenly picking apart their daughter's bodies or mirroring to them that they need to be hyper aware of their size in order to be loved. There is something wrong with models being a size zero, letting our youth know to never grow up and become a woman with curves.

If you have a voice within that is telling you there is something wrong with you, turn it around. Shake it out of you and into where it belongs. Whomever told you there was anything wrong with who or what you are, get really mad at them (not with them, but perhaps have a conversation in your head with them, or beat the hell out of the bed). There is something wrong with someone telling you how to live your life.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

By letting go of who we think we should be, we are able to become who we are really. Recovery is not about being perfect, nor is life about always knowing what to do, who we are, or where to go. Sometimes, just sitting and being quit is what we need. Sometimes we need to take mroe action. But for the most part, recovery is a dance individual to each of us. If you are struggling, reach out, for the struggle is the blessing and by asking for help, we are able to transform our perhaps limiting perspective and onto the light. Make sure you have people in your life who don't mind you being real, having faults, and who are not constantly trying to fix you. The people who shame you are the ones who don't matter for your recovery. Be the blessing that you are by putting the secrets of your shame out there to people who can love you up until you love yourself.

You are precious. Don't wait to live life. Until you love yourself, relax and reach out to those who see you and who don't mind sharing their experience of life with you. Keep your face to the sun, to the light, and acknowledge the shadows in order to awaken to your radiance.

Radiant Health

2009-10-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Another day to feel healthy, happy and free. I lived for so long with anxiety and severe inner turmoil that I marvel at the experience of life these days. It's amazing that here doesn't seem to be a monster inside of me trying to digest what is wrong and the sensation of never feeling quite right. As soon as I went gluten free, this negative energy shifted in me and my body relaxed. Food finally agrees with me and I am so grateful to be able to be free around food which translates to greater freedom in life! If only I had recognized this when I was 15, it would have saved me 12 years of struggling with anorexia and bulimia.

This morning was spent practicing a sequence from Donna Eden's Energy Medicine for Women
Her sequences have changed my life and transformed my body almost as much as going gluten free has. I struggled to find balance in my life for many years, and when I started incorporating Donna Eden's Feel-Good Energy routine into my morning practice, my weight normalized, hormones balanced, and my energy has been much more sustainable and positive.
If you are struggling with depression, moodiness, anxiety, any form of eating disorders, menopausal or PMS symptoms or other issues of hormonal imbalance, or just feeling like you are not inhabiting your body fully, Donna Eden's Energy Medicine is a powerful method of self-healing.

Wherever you are in your life or recovery or relationship to your body, giving up gluten can help to feel better overall and create radiant health. I was not officially diagnosed celiac, however diagnosed with diabetes, epilepsy and peripheral neuropathy, and besides that, basically so stressed out that my nervous system was in a state of panic and overwhelm for many years. It took me years to discover the gluten connection. I ran into an old friend, who had recently been diagnosed celiac, and his description of his recovery sounded like something I could use. So, I gave up gluten, and experienced health, clarity, focus, sustainable energy and a relaxed digestive system for the first time ever.

I experimented going back on gluten for a brief period and many symptoms came back. Starting specifically with compulsive overeating. It seems as if the gluten took away my body's ability to register food in the system, as well as balanced blood sugar. When I gave up gluten, I felt stronger inside and out. ADD symptoms went away, digestive system started functioning and I joined what felt like the real world. Rather than walking around feeling like my stomach was inside out and upside down, and my mind distressed most of the time, I felt, aaaah, that sense of ease and flow, grace and groundedness that I now recognize as radiant health.

Today, I am grateful to be in my body, and feel safe and secure around the food I eat. What a miracle to sit down to eat and not react, but enjoy the food and especially the feeling afterwards--that of vitality and radiant health. I even eat chocolate for breakfast, and a bit for lunch today! That is in a homemade "Chi-re-al" breakfast mix that I created yesterday, and a bit of a gluten free, casein free raw chocolate bar that I keep around for days like this. What a day to create radiant health, to enjoy that happy feeling within and to keep looking forward to many more to come!

Gluten Free and Happy to Be

2009-10-08T08:17:00.000-07:00

Have you seen Peter Tremayne's new book, ‘The Essential Gluten Free Guide?' I've read the whole thing and there's some great information in there about how to live an enjoyable life without gluten or wheat. I highly recommend it - it's very honest and straightforward and contains some really interesting ideas I’ve not come across before. Here’s the website where you can get more information and download the book

Here is a post from my other blog, which I am officially moving over to this site.

You may be reading this because you have gone gluten free due to a health condition, or a current trend in dietary theory led you to discovering the impact that going gluten free can have on your life. Any information you are reading here comes from personal experience, along with research I have done on gluten free living. I suffered with ill health for many years, and was in a healing crisis when I was diagnosed with peripheral neuropathy. Besides that, I could not hold on to weight, my blood sugar was all over the place, I had severe anxiety followed by depression and finally had a series of seizures. All of this and I still did not get it, neither did doctors. I was told “anorexic”, after having no problem consuming as much food as possible. I spent an exorbitant amount of time and energy on trying to find foods that agreed with me, and I settled on soy and a grain based diet, only to discover I was allergic to soy, and many of the foods I was eating. No wonder for the strange health conditions which seemed to be popping up all over the place!

Then I ran into an ex-boyfriend, who, when we were together, liked his beer and hangovers, while I was a bulimic in action. Together, we suffered silently separately, but came together and thrived on the possibility of not having to be alone and miserable. He had been diagnosed celiac, and told me about his recovery process. At the time, I was severely underweight, and still trying to figure out the food. And then…I cut out gluten. My symptoms went away, my weight normalized, and I found a way of eating that worked for me.

Here is how I went gluten free.

1. I cut out gluten.
2. I felt better.
3. I felt much better.
4. I learned to cook without gluten.
5. I felt free around food, less moody and compulsive, grounded with a flow in my spine.
6. I continue to feel better following a gluten free lifestyle, which does not include restricting the delicious options available.

The rest is history. Every day, I create, convert and customize recipes that fit in with the gluten free living. Some work, some need work, but there is always room for more gluten free options in the world. I am currently offering a Chi Bar–a gluten free, dairy free, soy free, sugar free energy bar that is spreading like wildfire. If you want to learn more, or order one or a dozen, email me @ waller@createradiance.com

Stay tuned for my new website, coming out in the next week, which will offer gluten free guides, guidance, recipes, relaxation techniques–a sort of healing reservoir for recovering your health from an addiction, stress condition, or life in general.

With love,
Waller

Follow me on Twitter!

Splitting Up and Letting Go

2009-09-08T15:39:00.001-07:00

My story has involved food for a really long time. It has been me and food, me and the latest fitness trend. Me and cooking for me and sleeping with me and food and waking with me and shame and severe embarrassment based on what I ate while I should have been sleeping and how I am never going to get out of this nightmare please help me Jesus! Wooha! I can't breathe, can you?

Lately, it's been a bit insane. So, I set out on an adventure in intuitive eating, and it's been a bit of a mad house. I used to wonder why I wanted to kill myself and so used food to act out a really tragic love story between a really cool girl and the love of her life: food. I used to think the tragedy was over once I gave up being bulimic a few years ago. If you have ever transcended the urge to vomit after you eat, I know how hard it can be, but rewarding at the same time. I went years binging and not purging, having absolutely no desire to do so, as if it left me altogether, so if you are reading this and still struggling, I promise you that there is a solution. I don't have it for you, but I am more than happy to share my experience with you. You can email me at waller@createradiance.com.

So no more vomiting. No more restriction. What's left? Is this monstrous appetite that seems to be growing more and more each day. As I do so, I acknowledge the areas that are lacking: no intimacy. Mmm. Food tastes even better. No sex. Not in many years. Don't tell. The food tastes really good.

I am working on a cookbook to exhibit my love affair with food. At least perhaps it will help to put this segment of life behind me. I hope so! Stay tuned for the release of Recipes for Radiance due to be out by the end of the year. It's going to be really juicy, filled with inspiration and guidance on how to cook to balance your energy, mood and life.

Truth be told I don't know Much!

2009-08-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hi, My name is Waller and I am breaking free from being compulsive around food. I see clearly where I want to be--moderately living, free from limitation or fears around food, while moderately eating, and enjoying life. Where I am now: most definitely enjoying life, while overeating. My body is rapidly expanding as I attempt to find the balance between food obsessions/limitations, Truth, and a way of eating that supports my well being.

I know I attracted lies, and information that limited my life for many years. I sought the world over, only to come back around and discover that I really don't know much and I am the only psycho in my bubble with the story of what foods I can and cannot eat and what life I am missing out on in the process of limiting myself. I used to like to travel, then I discovered macrobiotics and could never quite perfect myself for long enough to stay out of the house, and every time I tried, I went back home to the brown rice.

This next segment of life is an attempt to eat whatever I want to when I want to, and enjoy the process of breaking free from food prison. I truly can't believe I am still alive, besides not being vegan any longer, and I see and feel from the bottom of my heart that the best is yet to come!

Day to Create Radiance

2009-08-16T06:55:00.000-07:00

I am en route to recording my life for you all to see. Here is my day, the beginning of the rest of my life.

I awake feeling well, healthy and happy. I am learning to love myself no matter what. I am learning that my self-worth does not depend on the size of my body, nor upon how or what I feed myself. Sometimes healing comes through the most unusual route, and I need to feel like I am bad in order to feel uniquely myself. Sometimes being bad is what I need to be me!

I have certain rituals that I stick with no matter what, that help to balance my energy in a positive way. Most every morning, I spend my time from 6 or 7 until 8 am in this way:

1–Awaken to thank God, for friends, family and the ability to breathe and create my day!

2–Tongue Scraping–releases toxins from yesterday and prepares the palate to recieve a whole new day!

3–Splashing face with cold water 20 x–I don’t even wash my face! This is an ancient beauty secret and is divinely refreshing!

4–Drink warm water, take supplements. My current supplement of choice is called Rhodiola, Vitabase Health Supplements “shown to help improve declining work performance, sleep problems, lack of appetite, irritability, headaches, and fatigue which were the result of intense physical or intellectual stress. Other research confirmed improved cognitive function, a stronger immune system, enhanced athletic performance, and reduced stress.”

5–Donna Eden’s Feel Good Energy Routine, taken from

6-The Five Tibetan Rites
7–Put breakfast on the stove…

8–Walk Jake, the 7 year old whippet!

9–Have breakfast, enjoy it, clean up and start my day in a positive way!

This is the day to recover my life from any thoughts that tell me I am not whole, perfect or complete. Just for today, I will live my life in accordance with my values, I will honor my body, I will be gentle with myself, I will love more and live free from the eating disorder, anxiety or depression. Thank you, God!

Create Radiance Challenge

2009-07-22T15:16:00.000-07:00

to the beginning of your life. Your life begins now and is being lived through you. As you get out of the way and allow the light to shine forth and open you up to greater possibilities, you create radiance from deep within your Soul and inspire others to do the same. There are a myriad of ways to celebrate this life you are creating, and it starts now with an intention.

For the next 30 days, I dare you to live your life according to your deepest convictions. You may notice a similiar story comes along to remind you why you can't be, do or have what you want until you lose the weight, marry the one, find the job or house, and then, life is constantly not measuring up according to your standards.

Say you want to feel happy and healthy. What are some ways that you could start NOW to be happy and healthy? Say you don't want to worry about money, how can you get creative and come up with ways to make a business out of your life? What inspires you? Teach that, write a book, offer an online seminar! We want to hear from you! The world is waiting for you to express the message you are holding in and no longer is it necessary to withhold your message!

The time is NOW to awaken to your radiance. Never are you ever going to be exactly where you want to be, but if you act according to your inner vision NO MATTER WHAT (and that includes forgiving yourself when you are less than perfect), you are following an intent to create a radiant life.

I am going to share with you some of my intents, as well as some resources for living a powerful life this next 30 days.
One is Deepak Chopra's site:
www.intent.com
where you can share an intent with the world and recieve support and feedback in pursuing your intent.
One is