Geneen mentions briefly that she had to give up sneaking, stuffing, standing up, in the car eating in order to discover life. Her mission in life is to help women give up dieting and learn to be gentle and loving with themselves. The two are completely interconnected, and if you need clarification, I recommend reading any of her bestselling books, including, When Food is Love, and When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair.
I can completely relate to her process, and have made many commitments to give up careless, mindless eating, yet have not overcome the root of my behaviors. I can focus on giving them up, but then daily am tossing and turning to avoid the guilt and shame that has accumulated along with the pounds of excess bananas and nuts that I have become of late. Do you see how your food behaviors become how you think of yourself? This can be a conversation that is not at the forefront of your mind, at least one that you would not share with a date or even a roommate, but it is there when you get quiet and it is not the voice of faith, nor does it make life in the least bit enjoyable. It is nice to enjoy a good meal. It is especially nice to enjoy a meal with friends. Nobody wants to have to eat alone, and especially do so in bed, in the middle of the night standing up in front of the refrigerator, or feel like hiding because they exist as a human being. When we have spent much of our lives looking to fill the hole inside of us with food, the wholeness of who we are becomes dependent on the size of this hole, and for that reason, most of us feel frighteningly empty the larger we become. This cycle is frighteningly limiting and excruciating if we are not questioning the feedback from this emptiness. How true is it really that because our thighs are larger than our wrists, we need to suffer today?
Making sense of our eating patterns is completely necessary to move us forward into life. Especially now when many people are struggling to find work, and discovering that stress can be a full time job, and therapists can be our bosses. What if you were to give up the shame and guilt around food altogether? Would there be a reason to live beyond food if you started now to create a life you love and to fall in love with the life you are living?
Question yourself starting with your eating habits.
- How do I want to feel for the next segment of time?
- What would I eat that could help me feel that way?
- When shall I eat to keep my mind and body in balance?
- Where shall I eat and with whom?
- Am I truly hungry, and if not, what else would feed me now?
Dear Waller,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for including me in what you have written here regarding how, what, where, when, and how you eat. It's obvious from your thoughtful words that you understand the importance of examining ourselves. I have found it always helps to know we're not alone. My new book is called Women, Food, and God and it explores how your relationship to food is an exact mirror of your feelings about love, fear, anger, meaning, transformation, and yes, even God. I would be very interested in knowing what you think of it.
Warmly,
Geneen
Geneen Roth