Blessing of Self

Saint Francis and the Sow

by Galway Kinnell

The bud

stands for all things,

even for those things that don’t flower,

for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;

though sometimes it is necessary

to reteach a thing its loveliness,

to put a hand on its brow

of the flower

and retell it in words and in touch

it is lovely

until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;

as Saint Francis

put his hand on the creased forehead

of the sow, and told her in words and in touch

blessings of earth on the sow, and the sow

began remembering all down her thick length,

from the earthen snout all the way

through the fodder and slops to the spiritual curl of the tail,

from the hard spininess spiked out from the spine

down through the great broken heart

to the sheer blue milken dreaminess spurting and shuddering

from the fourteen teats into the fourteen mouths sucking and blowing beneath them:

the long, perfect loveliness of sow.

This is one of my favorite poems. Years ago, I was at a young person's silent meditation retreat at Spirit Rock in Northern California and the teacher shared this poem with us. We were able to converse the first evening over dinner before going into silence. I remember making heart-centered connections with some new friends. Especially the men, I recall feeling comfortable and seen by everyone at dinner that night. And then we went into 10 days of silence. I was sort of comfortable in that I live a lot of my life in silence, yet frighteningly not so in that I wanted to know the people I made eye contact with on that first night. I developed what could be called: a lust for the feet of others that week. I was certainly ok in my aloneness, but felt a sense of urgency to connect with the others who were going within.

I feel so in life that it is vital we are connecting from that place of a quiet mind. I am extremely grateful for the heart-centered relationships in my life. I went to a play last night with my Dad about Mark Twain as a rockstar. (dressed as Elvis--it was a musical highlighting his rebellion and the impact his teachings had on the time and century). Afterwards, I was sharing with my dad about a book I am writing, and specifically about a chapter called the Secret Garden, inspiring readers to get in the kitchen cooking by setting up the kitchen as if it were your secret garden. This quote starts out the chapter:
“I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses. All of us. Didn't your father ever tell you that? Didn't he?” — Frances Hodgson Burnett

The chapter goes into how we all need to feel loved, to feel special. Sometimes we cannot give it all to ourselves if we are not allowing ourselves to receive from the outside world.
What are you doing today to give of yourself? What are you doing to recieve? Do your relationships support a balanced way of being? If not, if you feel like you are constantly offering kindness and not being heard or held by those you love, perhaps it is time to sit back and allow yourself to recieve the gifts from the Divine. Rest in your heart center and listen to what is really important to you. Feel from the place and listen to what is being told through you. This life is a story you are creating, a dream that is being lived through you. We can surrender the struggle and open ourselves up to living a balanced, blessed life, as if in full view of others and certainly with friends who adore us. Allow yourself to be adored. Allow yourself to give to that which you adore. And become that which you know yourself to be. Loving and kind, generous and forgiving, with an authentic smile as if to say: I am home and all is well.

Much love,
Waller