Lovingkindness Meditation

Faith is sometimes not enough. We can fake it until we make it, but sometimes we just need to feel like we are not alone, but also that we are not suffering beyond belief. The simple action of prayer can help to shift the committee going on in our head, but sometimes this is not enough. There are many more tools at your disposal here,but for the time-being, what can you do to feel connected to all that is, o dial in to the reservoir of healing that is available to each and every one of us, and is our natural birthright? Have you ever felt disconnected, and then been touched by grace in the form of an angel or a miracle? Your life can be filled with these things, when you are oriented to the healing power you have within yourself.

This simple meditation can shift your inner world to being more in line with the openness and receptivity of your heart's calling. Lovingkindness generates the sensation of loving ourselves while loving others, so that we may become kind, compassionate, gentle, patient and receptive.

Lovingkindness, or metta meditation, as it is called in Buddhist practices:

1. Start by coming to a comfortable seating position, or lying down, find your breath, and allow your breath to be natural, even and relaxed. Drop inside.
2. Think of someone whose love has touched you profoundly, or that you love unconditionally. Allow the experience of this love to come over you, and rest in the sensation in your heart center.
3. Say the blessings below to yourself, inserting their name in replacement of the "I.

• May I be free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I be safe and protected.
• May I be free of mental suffering or distress.
  May I be happy.
• May I be free of physical pain and suffering.
  May I be healthy and strong.
• May I be able to live in this world happily,
  peacefully, joyfully, with ease.

4. Move to yourself. Connect with the sensation of loving kindness in your heart center, and say the blessings above (or in your own words).

5. Move to friends and family. Bless specific people, or friends and family as a whole.

6. Expand your blessings to include your city or town.

7. Expand to include your state, country, the world.

8. Notice the impact of connecting yourself to the resevoir of love has on your energy.

I like to practice lovingkindness meditation first thing in the morning, before getting out of bed. I find that it impacts the quality of my thoughts and energy throughout the day, as well as opens me up to being available to live a more prayerful life and maintain a holy state of being.

Be in Peace,

Waller

Ocean of Bliss

"Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in.
That's how the light gets in."
-Leonard Cohen

I am working on a manual for relaxation, and so doing research on what that is really. In my experience, deep breathing, healthy sleep, optimal nutrition and hydration, fulfilling relationships and time for self-nurturing all aid in the relaxation response. There is one simple principle that I am keenly trying to practice that you may want to know about...

That is: stop talking nonsense.
By getting quiet and going within yourself, there you will find solace in the Ocean of Bliss. Not only that, but perhaps it will cut your stress in half. If what you speak about you bring about, and you are constantly referring to what is stressing you out, imagine not talking at all until you have something positive and reflective to share to inspire with another being? Or perhaps a glimpse of gratitude for what you are learning or hope for the journey ahead.

I notice there are days when I talk about what is wrong with me and my life. And then what I get deep within is a conversation that goes something like this: you are horrible, shameful, should not do that or go there. I am like Thomas the Tank Engine with attempting full-steam-ahead, yet putting off noxious steam. I am not saying to hold it all in...there is a place for letting go, and therapy is always an option!

Notice who you are talking to and what is motivating you to speak. Perhaps sit on your hands until you have something nice or positive to say. Or until you feel inspired by what your unique and individual mind is aimed to create.

The schism in your soul does not need to create a dent in another's heart...
There is a mysterious power in going within and getting quiet to find the answers. Do you notice a familiar conversation in your life? How true is it really that you need to figure out the problem? How liberating it is to realize that you are whole, perfect and complete and that there is an Ocean of Bliss within you that is your own personal reservoir for love, and that you can marinate in it fully and completely and trust that everyone has access to this sensation.

Choose to be quiet today. Notice the conversations you are having with yourself, and if there is a war going on, perhaps you are plugged into the wrong outlet. Get still and know that the Ocean of Bliss within you is always available and you are not responsible for trying to figure out the problem or the solution to other people's pain. You will know love when you develop the ability to sit still with yourself and the mind is quiet and the voices within are reminding you of your precious nature.

So talk less. Feel more. Go within to find love. Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.

Access your own Ocean of Bliss by placing your fingers on the area in the middle of your chest, on your breastbone. Breathe in through your nose, out through the mouth. And deepen the sensation by placing the other hand on your solar plexus, and then moving that hand down to your navel. Feel the connection, the sensation of letting go, and rest in your own personal Ocean of Bliss.

Why Weight?

I was reminded this week that I had not been meditating. For me, that is usually not such a big deal, since I was committed to meditation for 4 years or so every day, sometimes twice. But in the past 5 months, I have not meditated one time. At the same time, my life took off in every direction possible. I attempted to move to Santa Fe, Vancouver, considered Hawaii and should be in New York today if my mind was in control. Unfortunately, my mind has been a bit out of control and I have done a very unique dance around what is.

Indeed what has shown up since I set aside meditation is a bit of chaos, but I am grateful for the truths that have been revealed to me and look forward to the opportunity to sit through this next segment of life and digest what I have learned to assimilate the damage. It is only by allowing the pain to be there, the darkness, the stuff that is truly frightening that we are able to grow up and transform. After years of struggling with anorexia and bulimia, I have given up the struggle. In the process, I have had to sit through more shame and guilt than I ever though possible, only to watch it pass by, as if I am a bystander and it is a circus that comes to town, and then goes. I learn that by allowing the show to go on, acknowledging its presence, that it has less of a pull on me.

Here is how it goes.
I made a mistake. (Eating Disorder: I ate too much food) I get over it. I see someone who reminds me that perhaps I am too large for my skin. I question reality. Who's judging really? I acknowledge that this is not my story, that this is a limiting perspective that once I used to keep me safe, but that it is not true any longer.

How true is it really that you are fat or that you need to lose weight?
Wouldn't it feel better to love yourself as you are and to take right now to relax just a bit, allowing all the energy inside of you to assimilate and let go of thinking there is something wrong with you?

There is something wrong with society, in case you haven't gotten the memo.

There is something wrong with mothers putting their daughters on diets, or keenly picking apart their daughter's bodies or mirroring to them that they need to be hyper aware of their size in order to be loved. There is something wrong with models being a size zero, letting our youth know to never grow up and become a woman with curves.

If you have a voice within that is telling you there is something wrong with you, turn it around. Shake it out of you and into where it belongs. Whomever told you there was anything wrong with who or what you are, get really mad at them (not with them, but perhaps have a conversation in your head with them, or beat the hell out of the bed). There is something wrong with someone telling you how to live your life.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

By letting go of who we think we should be, we are able to become who we are really. Recovery is not about being perfect, nor is life about always knowing what to do, who we are, or where to go. Sometimes, just sitting and being quit is what we need. Sometimes we need to take mroe action. But for the most part, recovery is a dance individual to each of us. If you are struggling, reach out, for the struggle is the blessing and by asking for help, we are able to transform our perhaps limiting perspective and onto the light. Make sure you have people in your life who don't mind you being real, having faults, and who are not constantly trying to fix you. The people who shame you are the ones who don't matter for your recovery. Be the blessing that you are by putting the secrets of your shame out there to people who can love you up until you love yourself.

You are precious. Don't wait to live life. Until you love yourself, relax and reach out to those who see you and who don't mind sharing their experience of life with you. Keep your face to the sun, to the light, and acknowledge the shadows in order to awaken to your radiance.