The Struggle is the Blessing

In reaching out, I find there is always a friend. It is in reaching in, that we can scare ourselves away from the light that is always available to us. Where are you reaching? What are you looking for when you go within? If there are parts of you that are unhealed–and if you are human there most certainly are–then there may be an urge from within to pick apart the parts of you that need light.

This post was inspired by a blog I have found by a woman who works with eating disorders: Crystal Heiderich
She writes letters to herself to shed light upon the gifts in the parts of herself that may have found unhealthy outlets, and in so doing discovers her gift.

Here is my gift to my body today, which is in need of some deep healing and restoration.

Dear Body,
I hear you. I hear you are tired. I hear you want me to love you and to be gentle with you. I hear you want to have fun, to enjoy life, to connect with friends, to be in nature, to practice and teach yoga and to find balance. I hear you want to find a place to live that satisfies your soul and a healthy community. I hear you have been afraid of growing up, and instead you have used food to hold you back.
I hear what you want is to be in the joy of life, to relax and trust, to work at what you love, to love being in your body, to be in the moment and to move forward into life from this moment on with your head up and feeling supported.
I give you permission to come out and play. I give you permission to follow your heart–to inspire others to enjoy being in the body and in the process reconnect with the love inside of you.
I promise to be gentle with you from this moment on. I promise to ask you before I feed you what you need and to take deep breaths as I move through the day. I promise to check in with your feelings and to not move you too far out of your comfort zone. I promise to allow you to play on a daily basis, to laugh and sing and dance and spend time in nature and with friends. I promise to allow your energy to be used as you teach what you love and live free for all and for good. I promise to speak about what I want to bring about and keep your conversations in a positive and inspired light.
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I love you and others love you and you are precious to the world. The world is waiting for you to come out and shine. I am here and so are your friends and family to receive the positive messages stored deep within your soul. Let it out. Let your self shine. Be yourself, in all of your splendor and radiance.

Here is a daily prayer that I am using these days to remind me of truth:
July__, 2009
The day when God’s grace awakens your heart and touches your Soul.
I will live my life with gratitude and faith in trust that I am being guided and supported in being happy and healthy. I am safe to express myself and to be me.
I forgive myself and all others for all mistakes. I release all stress and struggle or temptations to feel incomplete. I am whole, perfect and complete.
I surrender to a more effortless life and move forward on solid ground to creating a deeply satisfying, nourishing and abundant life. Thanks be to God! And so it is.

Namaste,
Waller

Radiant Health

Another day to feel healthy, happy and free. I lived for so long with anxiety and severe inner turmoil that I marvel at the experience of life these days. It's amazing that here doesn't seem to be a monster inside of me trying to digest what is wrong and the sensation of never feeling quite right. As soon as I went gluten free, this negative energy shifted in me and my body relaxed. Food finally agrees with me and I am so grateful to be able to be free around food which translates to greater freedom in life! If only I had recognized this when I was 15, it would have saved me 12 years of struggling with anorexia and bulimia.

This morning was spent practicing a sequence from Donna Eden's Energy Medicine for Women
Her sequences have changed my life and transformed my body almost as much as going gluten free has. I struggled to find balance in my life for many years, and when I started incorporating Donna Eden's Feel-Good Energy routine into my morning practice, my weight normalized, hormones balanced, and my energy has been much more sustainable and positive.
If you are struggling with depression, moodiness, anxiety, any form of eating disorders, menopausal or PMS symptoms or other issues of hormonal imbalance, or just feeling like you are not inhabiting your body fully, Donna Eden's Energy Medicine is a powerful method of self-healing.

Wherever you are in your life or recovery or relationship to your body, giving up gluten can help to feel better overall and create radiant health. I was not officially diagnosed celiac, however diagnosed with diabetes, epilepsy and peripheral neuropathy, and besides that, basically so stressed out that my nervous system was in a state of panic and overwhelm for many years. It took me years to discover the gluten connection. I ran into an old friend, who had recently been diagnosed celiac, and his description of his recovery sounded like something I could use. So, I gave up gluten, and experienced health, clarity, focus, sustainable energy and a relaxed digestive system for the first time ever.

I experimented going back on gluten for a brief period and many symptoms came back. Starting specifically with compulsive overeating. It seems as if the gluten took away my body's ability to register food in the system, as well as balanced blood sugar. When I gave up gluten, I felt stronger inside and out. ADD symptoms went away, digestive system started functioning and I joined what felt like the real world. Rather than walking around feeling like my stomach was inside out and upside down, and my mind distressed most of the time, I felt, aaaah, that sense of ease and flow, grace and groundedness that I now recognize as radiant health.

Today, I am grateful to be in my body, and feel safe and secure around the food I eat. What a miracle to sit down to eat and not react, but enjoy the food and especially the feeling afterwards--that of vitality and radiant health. I even eat chocolate for breakfast, and a bit for lunch today! That is in a homemade "Chi-re-al" breakfast mix that I created yesterday, and a bit of a gluten free, casein free raw chocolate bar that I keep around for days like this. What a day to create radiant health, to enjoy that happy feeling within and to keep looking forward to many more to come!