This Mindful Recovery

Springtime is the season where we are processing anger. It is a time when the body is wanting to leap up after a winter's rest, and for some of us that may come with resistance. The anger is responsible for detoxification, and the alternative mode is harboring anger, guilt, overwhelming emotions and feeling "stuck in a rut". The way out? Is through the feelings, practicing a more mindful life and living a delicate balance to achieve serenity.

In my personal struggle with my weight, as well as in the work I do with others, mindfulness is a key factor in my daily recovery. If I am not mindful, if I take my mind off of my intention to be healthy and happy, to feel better every day - then I go overboard and want to check out. This is in opposition to waking up. Mindfulness is waking up to the moment, to the resistance, to the tension. Moving through it by breathing into sensation in order to become present to what is. Mindfulness can only be practiced in the here and now, and doing so leads to a deeper and more meaningful existence. Imagine yourself making contact with the ground and then try to make contact with the ground. Does the imagining feel less severe and perhaps more effortless?

Mindfulness is a way, an embodiment, a personal resolution to embody. We all do so naturally when you allow yourself to enjoy doing what you are doing, such as riding a horse, eating a meal with friends, listening to a partner, digging in the dirt. The problem comes when we do what we do mindlessly, and forget the importance of making contact with the present moment. Each moment builds on the one before, and the practice of mindfulness invites a state of truth and love to emerge from within, rather than a state of doing, judging, and avoiding being, all which leads to a denial of the inner eco system.

Inside of the body there are the keys to our healing. I am convinced, after 12 years of battling food and weight, that the answer does not lie in the food I eat or how much I weigh. I can fight this all day long, by believing my mind when it tells me how awful I look, or when I think other people are judging me, to believe them. This, my friend, creates a negative thought loop which is not really true. In essence, it is meaningless information on the path to wholeness and to creating freedom from a food and weight obsession. After years of being a psychotic macrobiotic vegan, I wish I could say I know how to fix your body with food (b/c a part of me agrees), but if the mind does not believe the body is healthy as it is, then it will continue to use food to be fixed and break down, fixed and break down, again and again. I have tried this and it never works.

What is mindfulness and how can it help overcome eating disorders, food and weight obsessions, addictions and compulsions?

I taught myself to be mindful with food through one simple platform (and you can too!). It is, however a way, and there are many ways. This one works and I recommend having many philosophies around food that work for you.

• Eat for the next segment of time. What you eat now will give you the juice to thrive for the afternoon, morning, night and not for the rest of your life. You can always eat again, even if that is in one hour or is not a specified meal or snack time. Does this sound overly simplistic? It may, however if you are or have ever struggled with binging or eating compulsively, you may understand that sometimes you eat for a few days in one sitting. This makes no sense, and there are ways to make sense of it, AND I recommend having ideas, patterns, intentions, motivational talks inside of your mind and body that keep you focused on the results you would like to achieve.
  
• Chew well. This does not mean 100x per bite (however, I used to do this and it works!). Chew when you remember, and work to remember to chew as much as possible.
  
• Eat as if in full view of others (thanks, Geneen Roth!!). Or eat as if you are surrounded by your most beloved friends and mentors. Would you stand up eating @ the refrigerator if a client or new friend came over? This works. It may also help you set the table - clear the space around you for a peaceful meal. Prevent you from watching tv or being on the computer while eating. And is practical advice for eating anywhere in the world. I don't want to eat in the car, do you?
  

More to come on mindfulness, for now, be here, not there, it's the only way to become who you really are and embody your potential.

Warmly,
Waller

You are How, What, When, Where and Why You Eat

Thanks to Geneen Roth and her new book, Women, Food and God, and specifically her latest Huffington Post article for the inspiration in discovering how our relationship with food is a metaphor for our relationship with life.

Geneen mentions briefly that she had to give up sneaking, stuffing, standing up, in the car eating in order to discover life. Her mission in life is to help women give up dieting and learn to be gentle and loving with themselves. The two are completely interconnected, and if you need clarification, I recommend reading any of her bestselling books, including, When Food is Love, and When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair.

I can completely relate to her process, and have made many commitments to give up careless, mindless eating, yet have not overcome the root of my behaviors. I can focus on giving them up, but then daily am tossing and turning to avoid the guilt and shame that has accumulated along with the pounds of excess bananas and nuts that I have become of late. Do you see how your food behaviors become how you think of yourself? This can be a conversation that is not at the forefront of your mind, at least one that you would not share with a date or even a roommate, but it is there when you get quiet and it is not the voice of faith, nor does it make life in the least bit enjoyable. It is nice to enjoy a good meal. It is especially nice to enjoy a meal with friends. Nobody wants to have to eat alone, and especially do so in bed, in the middle of the night standing up in front of the refrigerator, or feel like hiding because they exist as a human being. When we have spent much of our lives looking to fill the hole inside of us with food, the wholeness of who we are becomes dependent on the size of this hole, and for that reason, most of us feel frighteningly empty the larger we become. This cycle is frighteningly limiting and excruciating if we are not questioning the feedback from this emptiness. How true is it really that because our thighs are larger than our wrists, we need to suffer today?

Making sense of our eating patterns is completely necessary to move us forward into life. Especially now when many people are struggling to find work, and discovering that stress can be a full time job, and therapists can be our bosses. What if you were to give up the shame and guilt around food altogether? Would there be a reason to live beyond food if you started now to create a life you love and to fall in love with the life you are living?

Question yourself starting with your eating habits.

• How do I want to feel for the next segment of time?
• What would I eat that could help me feel that way?
• When shall I eat to keep my mind and body in balance?
• Where shall I eat and with whom?
• Am I truly hungry, and if not, what else would feed me now?